Magnetized
by Aelibia
Summary: A lab experiment goes wrong, leaving Sakura a sex-crazed fiend. Determined to find a cure, she stalks the Akatsuki HQ looking for a way to alleviate her unexpected problem. Beware this plotless filth, oh innocent browser. Your life will never be the same.
1. Zetsu

**A/N:** Porn is ridiculous. This is a fact. As you will see, there is no end to the desperate things people chug into Word to keep the reviews coming. I even made a ridiculous plot that gets condensed into one-and-a-half pages so you don't have to suffer the indignity of consistency later on. You can just get straight to the good stuff without missing anything important, you depraved sicko, you.

So I don't need to warn you, do I? If you don't like smut, or a story with no morals or purpose whatsoever, then stay far, far away.

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**Magnetized**

**Chapter 1 - Zetsu **

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Sakura hummed, the tiny sound filling the spacious lab, reverberating off every available wall and surface.

All alone.

Again.

She clenched her teeth as she reached for another chemical, this time for herself. No more chakra-enhancers, no more ointments for battle wounds, no. This was something for her, something to make her forget.

Nothing dangerous, really, just a little harmless sedative, something to take her away for a day, to a place where nothing mattered. Sighing, she raised the beaker up to eye level to check for precipitates. Skim that off the top, add some more chemicals, whip it up, and voila. A round trip ticket to nowhere in the land of sorrow.

Rolling her eyes, Sakura swished the liquid around, wondering what everyone back in Konoha would say if they saw her now. Judging by the manner of her abduction, they probably thought she was somewhere in the dungeon of the Terrifying Akatsuki Base being tortured and raped and interrogated daily.

Judging by the manner of her current surroundings, they couldn't be more wrong, and Sakura felt bad about it. She really did. It seemed all they needed was someone who knew shit about chemicals, and Sakura was an expert on the subject, unfortunately.

_Damn_ missions to small towns where abducting a powerful kunoichi was greatly possible.

She slammed her fist against the counter, creating a barely noticeable crack in the sterile plastic cover.

And damn _her_ for going.

She'd been walking aimlessly in the streets trying to find where the hell she was supposed to be when she felt a small prick in her lower back. Startled, she'd whipped around and pulled a small barb out of her back, and had time enough to be completely confused at the thorn-like object in her palm before she hit the ground unconscious.

Well, that was certainly stupid. And terribly predictable. She felt like something was wrong, so why didn't she do something about it?

Something else she hoped to forget in the next few minutes. A few more chemicals and it was all done: a strange, light blue chemical that gave off a silvery sheen when she passed it under the florescent lights.

It just wasn't fair. She expected to be down there in that imaginary torture room, and she _wasn't._ She was in a state-of-the-art chemistry lab, her every need was catered to, she had a goose-down mattress, she was treated genially by all the men, and some of them even _flirted_ with her.

At least the flirting was kept to minute innuendo, and not a full-blown pickup contest between sexually depraved missing nin shut-ins. Lucky for her, some of them didn't even care to look her way, namely Itachi and Kakuzu.

But what did that all matter? Even if they were nice to her, as nice as criminals could be, and even if she did get used to them over the weeks past and talked to them sometimes, things would never be normal.

"And that's where you come in," Sakura cheerfully informed the beaker of blue liquid. The beaker said nothing, only waited patiently for Sakura to down its contents and replace it on the countertop. Letting her body slither limply to the floor, she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, prepared to be whisked away to a world of whipped cream and pretty little flowers.

Or something.

Thirty minutes later, Sakura still felt sad, guilty, and depressed.

"_What?"_

She stood up jerkily. Screw being sad, now she was just pissed. She picked up a stool sitting on the ground near her and heaved it over her head, and was about to launch it clean out the window when light taps on the lab door alerted her to a presence just outside. Suddenly embarrassed, Sakura dropped the stool back down to the floor with a bang and rushed to the door, opening it.

Zetsu.

He brought a white hand up in between their bodies clutching a small, dark leaf. Nondescript and odorless, Sakura couldn't see what the point was. Oh, wait. He was saying something now. Or _was_ he? Suddenly it was very hard to concentrate on his mouth.

"Miss Sakura, I hope I haven't bothered your research, but I seem to have made a small error."

Indeed, there were many other things that were nice to concentrate upon.

"That plant you asked for…I gave you the wrong one for that antidote you said you were making today. It looks like I gave you the—"

She was glad he wasn't wearing the cloak right now. His abs showed through the fishnet on his midriff, and they were lovely to stare at.

"—a powerful stimulant which increases the flow of—"

Carry your gaze a bit lower, and there would be...hmm. She vaguely wondered what color he was down there. Could she find out? Probably. Right now? Absolutely. She felt bold now, no trace of sadness. Why was she sad again?

"—as I'm sure you already know, because it's a rather distinct-looking plant. It's used by many prostitutes as a—Miss Sakura? Are you quite all right?"

She felt…_good._

She did something she probably wouldn't have done otherwise, that being touching his flytrap. It was smooth to the touch, and he flinched, but watched her carefully, never really making a complaint about it.

"I never noticed how _cool _this thing looked," she admitted, and she slid a finger down the side of one of the leafy jaws. "It looks _very _endearing on you, Zetsu."

He tried to draw away this time. "Thank you, Miss Sakura, but about the plant—"

She felt like her insides were going to boil if Zetsu didn't give her some attention, so she took him by the hand and over by a long patient bench. "Do tell about this plant, Zetsu, but sit down."

He stared at her like she was about to pull a sword from her side and stab him through the heart, bright, golden eyes trained on her lips, her eyes, her chest for a split second, and then her eyes again.

She sat down beside him, and he turned halfway toward her, extending the plant. "This is a—"

She took the plant from him, running her fingers lightly over the back of his hand as the exchange took place. "Go on?"

He stopped only to catch the breath that had hitched in his throat. This wasn't like Sakura. Wasn't like Sakura at all. "It's a stimulant that is used primarily by concubines and—"

Her free hand slipped to his thigh, where she kneaded into the muscle, like she was remembering her medic-nin-issue massages, only not. Her fingers extended to his inner thigh, making a jolt of lust flare and then settle in his gut.

"—It's used to—"

"I know what it's used for," Sakura said, and she moved all that much closer to him. She dropped the plant in favor of tracing more of those jagged jaws around his head, tracing veins in the flytrap, passing over the tips and then plunging down. "But I wonder…how _to _use it?"

Zetsu's composure was crumbling. Oh, sure, he shouldn't be doing this—_couldn't _be doing this—because Sakura was the captive and the medic-nin and he should _respect _her and he should be a _gentlemen _and _restrain _himself… But it was so hard to do so when she was straddling his lap and running two warm, small hands under his shirt and up his bare chest.

"U—usually," he started, trying to pay attention to anything but Sakura and what she was doing and why she should _get off his lap right now, _"one would grind it into powder and then stir it into a drink or sniff it; however, it is possible to chemically al—al—alter it."

"Mm, you don't say," Sakura purred, and she pressed her lips to his jaw, then his neck, sucking and licking and making Zetsu clench the cushion of the bench for all he was worth.

"Which is wh—what I believe you have done, taking into consideration your current disposition and the dilation apparent in your eyes."

"Don't worry about it," she soothed, breath against his skin, fingers threading into his hair, and she was sliding down his chest, off of his lap, and her knees were on the floor before him. "Just…relax."

"What are you—?"

She unfastened his pants, and all of that carefully regarded self-control abruptly _snapped. _

That dark side of him, with the sinister thoughts and the foul mouth and all of those perverse, _delicious _notions, was having a heyday. The other side of Zetsu, though, was struggling quite nicely for a grab on anything to anchor him to the _here _and _now. _

And the here and the now were currently Sakura drawing out his length, leaning her breasts on his thighs for better access to him, and her mouth—

Her _breath—_

She took him wholly into his mouth, and he felt his fingernails tear the fabric of the cushion beneath him.

"Sakura," he panted, furrowing his brow and trying to keep his breathing even. But it was so hard when she was sliding her tongue along the slit, circling the tip and the barest hint of her teeth across his flesh made him dizzy.

"_Sakura," _his dark side urged, and it wasn't a plea to stop, it was a thank you. Thank you for fucking up with those chemicals and making yourself a purring, grinning, seductive little succubus. Thank you for being completely unaware of everything.

"Zetsu," she said, and it was in such a way that Zetsu that he was going to come right there and right now.

That said, she pulled away, and he almost whined at the loss. But she climbed onto his lap again, and before Zetsu knew what was going on and where he was, exactly, she eased him inside her.

The first contact was warm and slick and wet, and it was _tight, _best of all, and he panicked, because what if it was her first time? What if a mistake she'd made had led her to this?

He took her by the hips and was about to tell her to get off, please, because he didn't want to hurt her and he was _better _than all this, damn it, but she clenched around him and he instantly forgot what he was doing.

She held onto his shoulders, bobbing up and down, using her knees as leverage, and he automatically thrust toward her a couple times. A groan slipped from his lips and he pushed his head back against the wall. Every muscle in his body was tense, from the jaws of the flytrap to the very tips of his fingers, and he gritted his teeth, trying to make it last. Make it last, make it last, yes, but he'd never done anything quite like _this _before, and before she'd just—with her mouth—and God, she was _whimpering _like that—

He couldn't help it. He just couldn't. He was sure he was leaving bruises on her hips that she could easily heal later, but it didn't matter, because there was just this impeccable sensation that she was going to pull the life out of him, that every nerve ending was sensitized down to his toes, that she was still making those noises and when had she even taken off her panties, and it didn't matter, didn't matter, didn't _matter—_

He came on a cry of three parts bliss and one part frustration, but it was _wonderful _nonetheless, and even when Sakura pulled off of him, growling for some reason and cleaning herself off with a nearby washcloth, he was sitting on Cloud Nine.

He _finally _gathered enough wits to fasten his pants again, and when he stood up, Sakura was gone.

He was confused for a second. Had she even climaxed? He couldn't remember—

Sighing, he shuffled off to his quarters.


	2. Peins

**A/N:** Moar with shameless Fallacy and Aelibia. This chapter brought to you by Dr. Seuss. Let's play Guess the Reference, guys!

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**Magnetized**

**Chapter 2 - Peins**

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Sakura grumbled, viciously kicking an innocent patch of floor on her way up to the main balcony. He just had to go and orgasm like after two freaking seconds, didn't he?

He so totally didn't deserve that blowjob. Not one bit.

Now she was off to find a larger prize, the chemicals pulsing in her system completely ignorant of the danger she was placing herself in by even _going_ where she planned to.

On the second flight of stairs up—why the hell was this taking so long?—she spotted Itachi coming down parallel to her. Normally she'd just ignore him and be on her merry way, but this time she stopped to look.

Customers usually observed their future wares before diving right into making the purchase.

Itachi, perhaps sensing the slight (okay, fucking huge) change in demeanor, came to a stop several stairs below her and looked up, eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as if to say…well, something that wouldn't matter at all as soon as she took care of this guy up here, and maybe a few others along her way back down.

Letting her eyes roam freely over his cloak-less form, she had to say she was quite impressed with his physique.

He blinked, silently demanding an explanation to this visual molestation. She adorned her most practiced, sultry gaze and stared at him right into those blood red eyes of his.

"You have a beautiful body. I'll look forward to fucking it stupid in the future."

She turned away and dashed up the stairs, too high on aphrodisiac to care to wait out his reaction, which is unfortunate, as she would've been the first to see Itachi drop his Sharingan out of pure, unadulterated shock.

Finally reaching her goal, she shoved open the balcony door that led out to the precipice where Pein so often sat and mused from day to day.

And just her luck. There he was. _Two_ of him, that is.

_And no sign of his stupid little girlfriend. Heh, heh._

Without turning around, he acknowledged her presence casually.

"You were not to come here."

Adorning the Innocent Face was necessary here, Sakura thought.

"I wanted to ask you something."

No reaction.

"Well, it was…something that happened to me. See, I was messing around with chemicals in the lab, and normally I try stuff out before I give it to you guys, and…well, I…"

She trailed off, cheering loudly inside when Pein's head—or _one_ of them, anyways—snapped around to observe her, giving her a quick once-over before his gaze returned to her face.

"What is it? Have you poisoned yourself?"

She looked down, trying not to let her ecstacy show too much on her face. For now.

"Something on my skin. It feels like it's…on _fire._ Burning. And there's only one thing I can ever do to even _stop_ it. It's so terrible..."

Both of him—God, he was just so weird sometimes. _All_ of him.—stood abruptly and strode over to where she leaned against the door, shuffling her feet on the ground in an attempt to look naïve.

"What do you need?" He inquired, peering at her skin suspiciously.

"I need…you."

He blinked.

"…to help me fix it."

_Wait, did he just look _disappointed?_ Oh, he so did. Score._

"I need someone with a lot of chakra and stamina to help me eradicate this…burning sensation." In a moment of pure nerve, she reached out slowly and lightly grasped his arm. "And you have lots of that, don't you? Stamina."

He swallowed. Just barely, but it was there. She hoped he wasn't a virgin. Otherwise this would just suck and she would have to catch up to Itachi back there in the hallway.

"So…what is it that I need to do?"

"Me."

Blink.

"A _favor,_ that is…I'll just need to lie down here on the ground like this, and you—um, both of you—come to opposite sides. Right. Now lean your head down close to my face…"

"What kind of therapy is this?"

"The kind that works. Now just lean your head down further until it almost touches mine. _That's_ right."

Well, laying spread eagle on the ground with two Peins above her ended in only one exit option. She propped herself up on her elbows and gave the nearest one a soft, warm, drawn-out kiss, and when she finally pulled away, she sucked on his lower lip for just a second.

_This _Pein, in fact, had been the progenitor of the other Pein, and he looked, for all intents and purposes, absolutely shell-shocked.

"Is what you had in mind sex, possibly?" the other Pein asked, the one with the long ponytail and that was currently seated at her left side.

"Is what _you _had in mind sex, possibly?" she shot right back, and he smiled.

"Absolutely."

Pein One, the Pein she'd just kissed into oblivion, shifted above her head and took her face in his palms, pressing lips to hers upside down. And it was the most exhilarating, delicious thing Sakura had felt in quite a while, and she leaned wholeheartedly into it. Maybe this time she could _get _something out of it.

Pein Two shifted a hand under her shirt, and he traced the underside of her breast before brushing a thumb over her nipple. She arched accordingly.

"You're acting a bit atypical," he mumbled in amusement, and she was far too busy entertaining Pein One's tongue to say anything.

His other hand joined in the fun, tweaking her opposite nipple between a thumb and a forefinger. He was too rough at first, she figured, but she became accustomed to it, and she soon found herself growing dizzy. Her own limbs felt stiff and she didn't really have the presence of mind to do anything but feel Pein Two unzipping her shirt for better access and Pein One panting between kisses, in those rare moments when the two pulled away for breath they didn't know they'd been holding.

Pein Two straddled Sakura hips, then, and his mouth was taking the place of his hands while his hands busied themselves with removing her medic skirt. She'd have to watch out for Pein Two. He was straightforward and suave and fucking _amazing. _

Pein One, on the other hand, glanced up at his counterpart. "I feel like I'm missing out on something."

Pein Two grinned deviously, licking Sakura's nipple once more—slowly—before he pulled away. "Not that you can't feel it anyway."

"Still, I'd much rather if _I _was the one to—"

Sakura was growing very frustrated very, very fast. "Look, you can _both _fuck me, but if _one _of you doesn't fuck me _now, _then I'll be on my merry fucking way."

Accordingly, Pein Two rocked against her, and she saw the briefest slip in his composure.

Resigning himself to his fate, Pein instead concentrated on leaving pleasurably painful love marks all across her shoulders and what he could reach of her neck.

And Pein Two, oh, what Pein Two was doing was absolutely _blissful. _He was just pulling down her shorts, tugging aside her panties, and then he was inside her, thick and invading in all the right ways.

She gasped and moaned all at the same time, raising her hips to meet his, and Pein One pinned her wrists to the floor.

"Don't do that," he whispered in her ear, and his breath tickled her. "You'll drive me _insane." _And with that he took the top curve of his ear in his mouth, and Sakura saw stars.

Pein Two started slow, at first, just rocking, experimenting in positions, and he finally settled with lifting one leg over his shoulder while the other wrapped tightly around his waist.

"You need to come to us more often with your problems," Pein Two said on a laugh, but it was strained, and he thrust into her with a roll of his hips.

"You need to come to _me _more often," Pein One said quietly, so quietly that Pein Two didn't hear. He moved to a spot on her neck just _under _her ear, still talking to her in that low voice. "Do you know what I'd do to you?"

Pein Two grunted when he finally found a comfortable pace.

"I'd fuck you so hard," he said on a soft groan, and it was more like he was whining than anything. What was it with men and _whining _during sex? But still, it was incredibly arousing, and Sakura threw her head back. "You'd be so perfect, so hot and _tight… _I want you, Sakura. I want you _now."_

"That's so cliché," she managed, and she smiled around the Peins' ministrations.

She felt him grin against her skin. "You know you like it."

Pein Two was moving faster, panting harder, and his movements were uneven, but the grip he had on her legs was bruising. Somehow, though, with Pein Two pushing in and out and in and out and _harder, faster, deeper, _and Pein One whispering in her ear and stimulating her skin in a dizzying manner, she found that she didn't quite mind.

Pein One abruptly took one of her hands free from his grasp and then set it in his lap. "Touch me," he whispered, and she could hear exactly what she knew: Pein Two's sensation were transferred to Pein One. Not exactly as intense, but it was enough, and this turned her on more than anything else.

She took hold of him through his black Akatsuki-issue pants, and he nuzzled into her hair, breathing hard.

"Don't stop," she said, and since neither Pein knew whom she was talking to, neither _did _stop. Pein One was guiding her hand with his own, showing her how to move it and when to stroke and when to jerk and just the right amount of pressure, and Pein Two sounded like he'd just run a marathon.

"Almost there," she whined, and even when she was too out of it to continue with Pein One, he held her limp hand and moved it for her, and Pein Two _just didn't stop _and she fucking _loved him for it._

"_Ah!" _she said, and it was basically just a reiteration of "Almost there, don't stop, please don't stop, fuck me _harder!" _

Pein One was burying his face in her hair and panting and she could hear him whispering unintelligible things, and Pein Two was almost at his point, almost, almost, _almost, _and she was _burning, _an inferno on the inside, clawing for release, winding tight in her gut and then _snapping _and it was—it was—

It was Pein Two coming on a muffled sound, it was Pein One reaching his climax on her name, it was _herself _getting to that _blissful _point and then falling down from it, and she finally felt like herself.

Only…not.

Pein Two was recovering nicely, pulling back on all of his clothing and pulling on hers as he kissed her thighs, her stomach, just below her navel, and Pein One was still holding the wrist pinned to the ground with a sweaty hand. His free hand, the one that _had _been making Sakura pleasure _him, _was tangling in her hair.

And Sakura was left…_unsated._

She was so frustrated. What _was _this? And she was suddenly angry with the Peins, angrier than she'd been at Zetsu, and she tore from them.

She stormed to the door, but backtracked.

"It was nice," she said, zipping up her shirt with an infuriated noise of metal on metal, "but it wasn't enough."

And Pein One and Pein Two were just left staring.

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	3. Madara or Tobi or Whatever

**A/N:** lolkinky. Once again, a product of Fallaelibia.

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**Magnetized**

**Chapter 3 - Tobi or Madara or Whatever**

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_Power,_ Sakura thought. _Maybe _power_ is what I feel so allured to. Maybe Pein just wasn't powerful enough. Ugh. I'm turning into some sort of reverse sexual megalomaniac here._

It was too hard to think further on the subject, though—too hard to think of anything, really—and Sakura decided to just focus on her next goal: the true leader of the Akatsuki.

While she _was_ the prized apprentice of the Godaime Tsunade herself, Sakura didn't have the complete knowledge of the classified information that passed between Jiraya and Tsunade; even when the Hokage was unattractively drunk, she didn't tell Sakura much.

Except that _one_ time.

That one time was when Sakura learned, before anyone else, before any of the ANBU or anyone, that Pein was the leader of the Akatsuki. After a nameless shinobi spirited her away to the Almighty HQ itself, though, there bred other revelations.

Tobi. Or Madara, really.

From what she could glean from hushed conversations between Pein and Konan, Tobi was the one from whom everyone _really_ took orders. It wasn't that hard to figure out, really, and she scoffed into the empty room she opened, empty like so many of them. Why hadn't the rest of the Akatsuki figured it out yet?

Madara-Tobi was obviously good at hiding. Up and down the stairs, span the whole building and go back again, fourteen empty rooms and one empty spare closet.

She retreated forlornly back into the hallway and slumped against the wall, momentarily defeated. That terrible itching, burning, damn _uncomfortable_ sensation wouldn't go away without a fight, however. No sense waiting around in the hallway until she had no other choice but to—

"Looking for someone?"

Oh, great. Madara this time. _Gah, this going to be a fight._

_Now, then. Innocent expression. No!_ _That would probably work better on Tobi, now that I think about it..._

For the demon founder of the Uchiha Clan, maybe something more assertive was in order…yeah, that sounded right. Powerful men attracted to powerful females, right?

"As a matter of fact, I _was_ looking for you, Uchiha. What on earth were you doing down here in the prison, dare I ask?"

He grinned terribly. "You are quite daring, aren't you? What a spitfire you are. I was right to have you brought here."

She smiled, seething inwardly. _What am I, a choice cut of rump roast? Show some respect, you son of a Kyuubi. Ha. Kyuubi. That's funny. Because he's really part demon, too, and—Ah! No! Focus, Sakura, focus!_

"Hmm…well, maybe I _wanted_ to be brought here, Madara."

He walked towards her, then, and began to circle her slowly, something akin to a lion stalking a gazelle. _Well, if lions really hunted. In reality, it's the lioness that does all the—Augh! Focus, dammit!_

His footsteps slowed somewhat. "Wanted? You sure put up a fight when someone gives you something you _want,_ if that was the case. Did you not have to be sedated for a week before you stopped trying to kill everyone in sight?" He chuckled darkly, and Sakura could already tell what was going on in his demented little brain.

Sakura smiled wider, grasping the opening. He paused, seeing the change in her demeanor, and allowed her to approach him, probably already knowing what she planned to do, maybe even why. He was a _smart_ cookie when he wanted to be. With chocolate chips.

_Mmm…chocolate. Too bad I don't have any on hand. Or honey. And whipped cream._

"Maybe the sedative was just…" She wrapped her arms around his waist. "…to keep me from getting hold of just _you."_

His eyes narrowed in a mock-thoughtful gesture. "Oh?"

"Oh, indeed. I've been watching you—wanting you—for a very long time, Madara." _My God, I sound like one of those women in those smut books. I guess it gets the job done, though, or it wouldn't be considered_ cliché…

"Hn. So now that you have me in your clutches, what do you plan on doing to me?"

She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side. "Oh…I could think of some things."

"Humor me, then."

She looked around at their surroundings. It was all so…prison-like. Gray stone walls, gray stone floor, gray stone cells…but look! _Light_ gray metallic bars!

She sighed. "Well, it's not exactly the best location to do this, but we'll work something out here."

He adopted an innocent look, the very same one used prior by Sakura herself. "Do what?"

She turned back to peer at him once more. "Oh, I think you know what I'm _talking_ about," she whispered.

She looked over at the wall not ten feet away from where they stood, entangled, an idea sparking inside her head.

"Hey, could you...find some chains anywhere?"

A drip of water echoed out into the empty space.

"...It was something I wanted to try."

Still silent, Tobi--Madara?--released her and walked into a small room, coming out shortly with a box in his arms. He set it on a nearby table and motioned for Sakura to come and look at its contents. Inside was a plethora of chains, shackles, and all sorts of lovely _(kinky!)_ things, and Sakura couldn't wait to put them on...him.

Taking out a pair of wall shackles, she quickly sized it up and held it at an arm's length, trying to judge the best way to go about doing this.

Madara looked equal parts anxious and excited.

There was a blinding surge of desire when Sakura rubbed her thumb inside the cool metal cuff, and she damn near _jumped _the once-masked man, slamming him against the wall.

The breath left his lungs with an indignant "Oof!" He could have escaped her grasps easily if he'd thought she would harm him, but as it was, he just watched her warily.

She cuffed his hands above his head, chaining the shackles to a metal loop protruding from the wall. And then she was rubbing against him like a cat, a very _deprived _cat, frustrated with his shirt and ripping it off of him.

He shivered slightly at the first touch of cold. "You're very—"

She abruptly stuck her hand down his pants.

"—_exuberant," _he finished on a surprised squeak.

She growled, loving this feeling of dominance, loving the power she felt just by flicking her fingers over his nipples, pressing herself tight against him, mouth tracing tendons in his neck and his collarbone. She could see him straining, and when he started making appreciative purring noises low in his throat, she slid his pants off his hips.

"Diligent," he muttered, pressing the back of his head against the cools tone floor. It was pretty cold in the dungeon, and Sakura couldn't tell for which reasons he was shivering anymore.

Her fingers danced along his length, his pants still just below his hips, and she teased him to full attention, until he was tugging hard against the shackles and cursing her.

She only took him in her mouth once, because when she did, he jerked, gagging her in the process. But she hid it fairly well, and she used a mixture of her own saliva and his pre-cum to work him into a panting, whispering, hot frenzy.

She slicked her tongue along the underside and over the slit as she pumped the shaft with a fist, and when his groans started becoming more fevered, his incomprehensible words becoming just nonsense that she couldn't understand for the life of her, she pulled away. Completely.

Madara was _pissed._

Not wanting to feel his wrath and smiling like a madwoman all the way, she unshackled him, and as soon as she did, he threw her over his shoulder and then down on a nearby wooden table, all but tearing off her skirt and shorts.

She wondered if she should just walk around naked from now on.

There wasn't a moment's adieu, and he slipped a finger inside of her. She clenched instinctively around the intrusion, though she couldn't say it was an unpleasant sensation. Quite the opposite actually.

The thumb of his other hand worked her clit, circling, pressing down hard sometimes and then barely brushing over it other times, and she found herself bucking into his movements, moaning on his name and completely relinquishing all of that former power that she'd felt.

He grabbed her by the thighs and pulled her until she was wrapped tightly around his waist. And when he slid in, rubbing his cock along the slit for good measure, she _giggled._

And it was so _odd, _but the utterly fervent look on his face was completely worth it.

It was all limbs from there, because he just couldn't keep his grip on one place on her for long, and he was going so hurriedly that he pulled out too far and slipped out sometimes, but it was well worth it, because he _had to be the one._

He bent his head to kiss her, though, full on the lips, angling it in a way that made her feel heady and warm, and when he murmured something into her mouth, just as she felt that tension beginning to splinter and snap, just as he was about to finish, or maybe he already had, just when she was hitting that wonderful fucking point that she never wanted to leave, she heard it.

"Tobi likes Sakura."

She came on a strangled cry of frustration. This wasn't what she wanted. She wanted _Madara, _damn it, _he _had the attractive personality. Now she felt like she'd just…molested an eight-year-old or something!

Tobi was happily purring and nuzzling into her neck, brushing his nose just under her ear and nibbling occasionally on the lobe.

She pushed him off. She didn't want to be mean, but now it was even worse. That utter drive to fuck, fuck, fuck every available man until _one of them _could satisfy her completely was making her angrier by the second.

"Tobi, I have to go."

"But Tobi wants you to stay."

"I have to _go, _Tobi. I have to—use the bathroom."

He picked himself up off her and collected her clothes for her.

She couldn't ever remember leaving a room as fast as when she had at that moment.

* * *


	4. Kakuzu

**A/N:** I HATE YOU FANFICTION. Gawd, sorry about that repeating thing. I have no idea why fanfiction always does that to my stuff, but I had no idea they'd go this far. Guess it means I'll be editing whole chapters on here now. SNARL. If I missed something, tell me. Oh, and feel free to resubmit your reviews. No really, we won't mind.

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 4 - Kakuzu**

* * *

Money made the world go round.

Kakuzu sighed.

That didn't mean he had to enjoy sorting it.

It all started a couple days ago when the door to the vault got stuck in the treasury. Instead of trying to find a way to nudge it open himself, the exhausted and frustrated Falls nin unintelligently called on Deidara to help him open it. Bombs opened things, right?

_Idiot._

Him and Deidara both, really. Him for even suggesting the thing in the first place, and Deidara for not only blowing the door clean off, but sending clay shrapnel flying in every direction, skewering stacks of money and sending a black cloud throughout the whole room. It finally settled on every surface imaginable and in the days afterward that it took to scrub the treasury top to bottom, the singed ties holding several hundred packs of fifties gave loose and _now_ there was a sea of green and yellow on the floor.

Kakuzu sighed.

He _really_ didn't enjoy sorting it.

Putting little ties on stacks of exactly one hundred bills—which he had to locate and align himself—was not exactly a way he enjoyed wasting his time. He preferred…bounty hunting.

For a moment, Kakuzu allowed his rusty imagination to take him back in time, a time like any other time, but a wonderful time nonetheless. The time was a long time ago, and there was him and the guy with fifty million on his head. Oh, sweet, sweet bliss it was when he finally took the man down and hauled his ass to the collection agency.

The money he received had all been neatly lined up in rows, and the workers had even bagged it up for him all nice and pretty. He sighed again. So pretty.

So…tired? He felt so drowsy all of a sudden. _Odd…_ And that money on the floor was looking awfully plush and cozy right now. It would be okay for him to just lie down on the floor…take off his cloak to use it as a blanket…fluff up a pile of money and lay his head down on it and—

Someone knelt down beside him and put a hand on his back. Startled, Kakuzu tried to reach back and snatch the hand, but to his horror, he couldn't move his body. The fatigue completely grounded him while his mind raced.

What a terrible fate. To render him immobile and steal the money before his very eyes. He now recognized what had made him sleepy, and was somewhat grateful that the invader had at least left him conscious. The genjutsu left him with his wits about him, and that was all he needed to put an end to this ridiculous situation. Akatsuki had other means of communication with the higher powers, after all. It was foolish of this person to think that they had him beat.

But just as a point of curiosity, why the hell weren't they trying to steal anything? And where _were_ they?

"Kakuzu? Are you awake?"

Well, shit. A small, feminine hand began to run its fingers through his hair, skimming nails over his scalp in an extremely nostalgic way.

"Kakuzu? I didn't make the genjutsu _that_ strong, did I?"

He stiffened. Well, actually, he kind of…twitched. The fatigue didn't allow much more than that. "So that was you? What the hell are you doing? Seeking your revenge at last? I always knew we never should have taken you," he snarled.

He heard her sigh from somewhere above his head. "Just as a point of curiosity, why did you guys take me again?"

"You already know that. It was for the chemicals."

"Right. I'll start believing that when you turn over and fuck me."

"_What?"_

She cleared her throat. "Well, I knew I couldn't just come in here and demand you to screw me so hard I couldn't see straight…you'd be too suspicious with all the money in here. I had to sedate you first, then come in and make my move."

Kakuzu was shell-shocked. "Come in and…make your move?"

"Yes. So far, none of the men in my life has been satisfactory enough. But I think I can count on _you_ to make me feel better." She slid the cloak from his body and Kakuzu felt some of his control slip away. Well. _This_ was turning out to be quite an interesting day.

"So are you going to release the genjutsu so I can do my job for you, then?"

"Really? You're going to give me what I want, just like that?"

Kakuzu halted for a beat. "…Yes."

"Then I've already lifted it."

And by golly. She already had. And he hadn't even noticed it.

Kakuzu grunted as he sat up and peered curiously at the girl, weighing in his head the options of actually ripping her clothes off and doing the nasty right there on the piles of money verses getting up and hauling her out by her collar and snarling at her to never come back.

In the end, _she_ decided. Picking up a wad of money, she waved it before his eyes and teased,

"I'll give you all of this money if you…take off your shirt."

He snorted. "Playing the stripping game, are we?"

A smile. "Oh, yes, we are." She tossed the money at him; it fluttered gently down around his body to the floor. "Off with the shirt already."

He wasn't quite sure about this, and his fingers twitched anxiously as he brought them up to where his black undershirt was tucked into his Akatsuki-issue pants and waistband. "How do I know I can trust you?"

She smiled slyly, holding the money fisted in two hands as she raised them above her hands. "Tie me down if you're really all that untrusting."

He couldn't help a smirk from crawling across that wide Glasgow Smile of his. The stitches at the corners of his mouth stretched almost uncomfortably taut, and he pulled the shirt out of the waistband slowly. The chill air of the vault rippled across his bare stomach, and he shivered gently.

He heard Sakura make a low sound of approval, and laughing to himself, he tugged the shirt completely over his head. Goosebumps rose and prickled along his biceps, his forearms, and swept down across his chest and stomach. He brushed the line running from his navel to under his pants with his thumb when he put his hands to his waistband.

Sakura was leaning heavily against the low table in the room, smiling faintly and with eyes half-lidded. Kakuzu wondered if there was such thing as an actual vat of lust, because it looked like Sakura had just been dipped in it.

She dropped the money when he sat on the ground cross-legged, crossing his arms likewise. His pants were still on.

"I think you've had enough," he remarked, sounding far too amused for the situation. His amusement abruptly disappeared, however, when Sakura all but tackled him, pushing his arms down against the piles of money, thighs straddling his chest, her lips pressed firmly against his.

He wasn't even hard, but she slipped down and pulled out his length, hands around him and then her mouth, shocking his body into stillness and his mind into overdrive. She traced the underside with her tongue, long and languidly, hot breath skimming over sensitive skin, and a burning shiver coursed through him.

"I said it was enough," he finally managed to growl, trying only halfheartedly to pull away from him.

Her fingers clamped down into his thighs, and she looked up at him through her eyelashes, mouth just edging back up over the tip of his cock.

It barely took him a millisecond to figure this one out on his own. He said not a word, but settled back down. Likewise, it didn't take him long for the room to heat up and him to feel squirmy and restless. He alternated between watching her, laying his head back against the stacks of money, and groaning incessantly.

She released him with a wet pop, wiping a string of moisture from the corner of her mouth. And then she purposefully and deviously eased herself onto him, arching her back and throwing her head back and giving Kakuzu a perfect view of a suddenly perfect neck.

He held her by the hips and leaned up to press his lips around her throat, sucking and licking and leaving a decent-sized bruise. She used the table beside them as leverage for her to lift herself up and then drop back down, slow for only a moment before she completely found her own pace and seemed to dare Kakuzu to keep up.

When the muscles in his neck and back began to strain he lay back again, gritting his teeth. For the most part they'd both been rather quiet, but he broke this hush by groaning, fingertips digging into her skin.

Sakura wasn't even unclothed, but she'd pulled off her shorts and her skirt was pushed aside, and he didn't really care at this moment. Sex was sex; it wasn't like he was in love with her or anything.

He felt himself growing dangerously close to release, so he slipped his middle finger inside of her, stimulating her clit and reveling in the way she clenched around him and shuddered. She called out his name at every thrust, eventually wearing it down to mere syllables. "Kakuzu! Kakuzu! Ka-ah… 'Kuzu!"

Years and years of, well…_life_ gave him the knowledge he needed to realize that she'd come first, and, thankfully, he stopped holding back. Maybe twenty seconds later and he was stilling inside of her, her slumped over him, hands rubbing his chest and tracing stray lines of stitches.

He regained his breath for a moment, watching her breath heavily against him, but after a second, she snapped her gaze to him.

"…What?" he asked, unnerved by her stare.

She blinked incredulously. "That's it?"

"That's it?" he growled, offended. "I'm not a fucking machine, literally or otherwise."

She sneered at him, seemingly disgusted, and a very angry portion of Kakuzu deep inside clenched. He watched her sift around the stacks of money for her shorts before pulling them on, refusing to look at him.

And then she was storming out of the vault, slamming the heavy door behind her. Money fluttered aimlessly around him. So there Kakuzu sat, half naked, lying in a pile of his own riches.

Grunting in dissatisfaction, he put one hand down to brace himself as he stood. The money underneath him was…sticky. And damp.

A feral expression crossed his features. "Son of a bitch." He ran his free, clean hand through his hair, pushing bangs out of his face and clearing his vivid green eyes, which darted about the room fruitlessly. Tension building inside of him, he lashed out at a stack of cash, watching it fly and dance to the ground. "I fucking _knew_ this was a bad idea!"

* * *


	5. Sasori

**A/N:** Don't worry, the next chapter is close behind. My post-Abendrot vacation is over. Oh, and this will make up for the incident last chapter. Most definitely.

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 5 - Sasori**

* * *

Sasori sighed and turned the puppet's head this way and that. It just wasn't right.

You'd think, after a shitload of experience in the puppet-making business, one would know _instinctively_ by now how to make a puppet. There shouldn't be any problems involved in it.

Then again, he sighed once more to himself, there would no longer be any joy in his art. If everything came easy and every task, every inserted poison canister was implemented by his brain and not his heart, well…that just wouldn't be true art. It—was someone knocking?

On _his_ door?

Goodness gracious, he hadn't had company since—since—god_damn,_ the place was a mess. Blood all over Hiruko, kunai all over the floor…what would they _think,_ coming into—oh. Sakura.

…

Sakura?

He barely croaked out a hesitant greeting before she dashed forward and latched onto his upper arms. She didn't feel dangerous, so maybe where was nothing to worry abo—

"Sasori. I need to know."

"Need…to know…?"

"Do you…have a penis? When you turned yourself into a—did you get rid of it, or…?"

He froze. _What?_

"Sasori!"

She shook him back and forth, her franticness reaching him through wooden ears. Was she actually _serious?_

"_Do_ you? _Do_ you have a d—?"

"_No._ If that's what you really want to know, then no. It's gone. I didn't even keep it. Never needed one, really. Sex was never a big thing for me."

"That's sick. Sex is _every_thing. _Everything,_ do you _hear_ me?"

His eyes grew wide. Something was amiss here, and he suspected it had to do with illicit drugs and an overdose on erotic fiction.

With a twist of her hand, she dug down into his pants and fished around. Sasori didn't move. It didn't matter, she wouldn't find anything.

"Oh," she muttered, dejected.

"Yeah."

"Um."

"Hmm."

She turned and ran out the door, and she didn't even close it behind her. How rude.

Sasori went back to his desk and continued contemplating that blasted puppet. This was more important than sex and penises combined. Whatever she was planning to do next didn't matter. He'd watch the security tapes later, anyway.

* * *


	6. Hidan

**A/N:** Presenting a special guest author, Cynchick, who is providing you all with the goodies this time around!

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 6 - Hidan**

* * *

She found him lying in a giant pool of his own blood, so naturally the first order of business was to get all that cleaned up.

And of course, she couldn't get it cleaned up with him fully dressed and all. He was lying in his room, in an outline of a jutting symbol, darkened by shades, sprawled near the airtight windows, spears and daggers of all breeds stuck to various places in his body.

She knew he'd just made a kill, and while that normally would've been a turn-off for her, right now it _just wasn't important._

"Hidan"

And he looked up, glaring at her, the blood pouring from his mouth sluggishly.

"Bitch," he drawled. "I don't recall inviting your ass in here. It's totally rude to interrupt someone when they're praying, seriously. Fuck off."

"Oh," Sakura whispered as she sank to her knees next to him. "That's exactly what I plan on doing to you."

"…What?"

She started with the pike spearing through his heart. Place a hand near the wound, dig down deep with chakra…there it was, the end of the spear. Now she pulled the spear out quickly, her chakra checking the blood flow from the inside out. It was beautifully done, and already his special little abilities were cleaning up the inner workings of his heart.

But of course, he didn't give a shit about that. In fact, he was pretty pissed off.

"The _fuck_ are you doing? Gimme that—Shit, give that _back!"_

He scrambled for the pike, not getting very far since he was pinned to the ground and all, and Sakura held it out of arm's reach, injecting him with a paralysis jutsu to calm him a bit. From the neck down, of course, so she could still hear his lovely voice.

"God, you stupid bitch. This is just plain _wrong._ You can't just _come_ in here and interrupt someone's _prayers_ so you can _dry hump_ them."

"Glad you catch on so fast. The rest of them were so incredibly slow. And no dry humping. I don't do sex halfway, if you know what I mean, tiger."

"Catch on fa—oh, shit. Oh, no you _didn't._ How many—?"

"Just three more after you. Unless, of course, you're good enough to satisfy me…not even Pein could give me that, and there were _two_ of him that time. Now that I think about it, I should've had all six at the same time…I'm sure we could've found a way."

"You're fucking _sick."_

"I must be, that coming from you. Jeez, you made a huge mess all over the floor."

Sakura finished pulling out the assorted pointy things from Hidan's body and began healing the gashes while he spat and swore excessively about religion and the importance of each wound's position and you're going to hell for ever and ever and ever, dumb bitch, and don't fuck up my _hair._

"All right then," Sakura sighed, assessing her work. His clothes were stained and torn, but he wouldn't be wearing them long anyway. And at least there was no more blood on his skin now.

"Time to take off the paralysis?"

"You just wait. I'll make you wish you were dead, bitch."

"Oh, hush."

"Fuck you! I'll—put my fucking shoes back on! I'll rip you to pieces! I will, I will!"

"You know, Hidan…"

"Fucking what?"

"I just finished screwing Kakuzu into next week. So maybe I won't need you at all. I mean, I'm sure you're not as good as him. Oh, don't be mad, it's just you don't have as much experience. There, all done. You should be able to move now."

She twisted around on the balls of her feet and drew herself in to stand up. Predictably, a large hand snatched her elbow and wrenched her back to the floor. Hidan's face was incredibly calm and collected, which was an extremely bad sign. Normally, Sakura would avoid him in this instance, but then again, if she were emotionally sound right now, she normally wouldn't be in the room at all.

"What did you say?"

Sakura sighed again, secretly squealing with glee.

"I _said_ that maybe you won't be as good as Kakuzu. I'm sure it's true. I mean, he's a bazillion years old or whatever, and has way more sexual experience than—woah!"

Hidan stood abruptly, yanking Sakura up with him.

"Well _I'll _show you different, you stupid bitch. _No one_ compares me to _that_ asshole and gets away with it. I'll _fuck_ you so hard you won't be able to _see_ for a _week."_

"Indulge me."

And he did. With a vengeance. He grabbed her by the throat, not painfully, but tight enough to show that _he_ was now the one in control, and began driving her backward with a dark and hungry scowl.

This was the point where the fear would have stirred, but right now all she could think of was that _someone – _any one of these insane bastards – needed to satisfy her, dammit, and Hidan just may be up for the job. She had a good idea of what was in store for her from this particular Akatsuki, and in her lust-dominated state, it only excited her more.

The small of her back hit something hard, and she turned her head in Hidan's grip to see he'd driven her into a low table on the far wall, draped in black cloth with an arrangement of unlit black candles and several sharp pointy instruments strewn about.

She began to inspect the contents up close when Hidan suddenly spun her around and forcefully bent her over that very table. She gasped and her hands flew out to brace herself, scattering random pointy things and knocking over a few candles.

"You bitch, stop fucking up my altar. I'll make you _pay_ for that," Hidan growled, shoving her against the table with a hard push of his hips.

So that's what this table was about. Well, it didn't matter to her what it was. All that mattered was that he was rock hard and ready to go without any assistance from her, which was fucking perfect, because she felt like she was going to crawl out of her skin any second.

With a hard jerk her shorts and panties were down over her ass and Hidan didn't wait a second before aligning his head with her already slick entrance and roughly shoving in to her.

Sakura surged forward with the force of it, a guttural moan escaping her lips. She clung to the edge of the table and arched her back wantonly, angling her hips to receive him better.

He grinned sadistically and smacked her ass once, hard enough to sting and leave a welt later. "You're like a fucking cat in heat, aren't you?" He chuckled darkly as she gasped with the impact. "Kinky little bitch…you like it rough don't you?" She merely moaned and rubbed herself back against him. He gave her another hard thrust, banging the table against the wall loudly. "Answer me. Don't you?" he growled.

"Yes!" she gasped. "Fuck me _hard_, Hidan. Fuck me as hard as you can."

Hidan laughed cruelly and smacked her ass again. "You asked for it," he said, and began to drive into her with hard, relentless thrusts.

He was absolutely brutal, just like she _knew_ he would be, and with her body on fire like this she loved every second of it.

Hidan wasn't concerned about pleasuring her and used his hands only to pin her down against the table, but it didn't matter because she was so worked up at this point that the hard pumping of his cock inside her, hitting bottom over and over, was enough to send her over the edge.

"Oh fuuuck…" she ground out between her teeth, gripping the table for dear life as she felt herself racing toward much needed release. "Faster! Don't stop…oh _god_, I'm gonna –"

The loud banging of the altar repeatedly hitting the wall was still not loud enough to muffle her wails as she came hard, her body spasming with the force of it, intensified by his rapid, vicious thrusting when he came as well, gripping her hips with brutal force as he emptied inside her.

He pulled out with a satisfied grunt, smacking her ass one more time for good measure. Sakura remained draped over the altar, temporarily boneless as she regained her breath.

"Well?"

Normally his smug demand would anger her, but right now, she only grinned contentedly because that burning itch had faded. "Just what the doctor ordered," she murmured, and finally collected the strength to stand up and rearrange her clothing. "I think I might be cured," she added.

Hidan finished zipping his pants and turned away from her. "Good. Now get the fuck out."

Or not. Her face contorted in frustrated dismay when that familiar feeling began to creep up on her again. "Oh no…"

Hidan faced her again, his expression definitely not pleased. "What? Don't fucking tell me you forgot to take your birth control or some shit…"

"No!" she groaned. "It wasn't enough."

Hidan stared incredulously at her. "What do you mean it wasn't enough? I just fucked your brains out over Jashin's holy altar and you're fucking telling me it _wasn't enough_?"

"No."

Now he looked offended. "You came, I _felt_ it. You fucking_ loved_ it."

Sakura sighed. "Yes. But it still wasn't enough." She straightened a determined set to her features. "Again," she demanded.

Hidan's eyes widened warily. "_Again?_"

She stalked toward him. "Yes. Fuck me again. Now."

He actually took a step backward. "No."

She looked like he'd kicked her puppy. "What? _Why not_? _You_ liked it too, so what's the problem?"

He scowled and pushed against her sternum, holding her at arm's length. "In case you fucking forgot, bitch, you interrupted me in the middle of my prayers."

"So?"

"_So_. And what _exactly_ was I doing when you came in?"

"Bleeding all over the floor…" Her eyes narrowed in understanding. "Are you seriously fucking telling me that you can't give me what I need because you've lost too much blood and you're _tired_?"

He sniffed and looked away. "Something like that."

"Well what fucking good are you!" she snapped, frustration curling around her in waves.

"Hey don't fucking talk to me like that, bitch! I gave you what you wanted and you were fucking _screaming_ for it, so don't blame me that your hormones are on a fucking rampage!"

"Fine," she growled, "I'll just get someone else to do it." She turned on her heel and stomped toward the door.

"Have fun with that," he said, turning away again.

"Someone with a bit more _stamina_!"

Hidan whipped around again, livid. "Hey! Get back here you bitch, I'll fucking _show_ you stamina!"

But the door was already slamming.

* * *


	7. Kisame

**A/N:** Featuring guest author J-Pop Princess, who is bringing you today's goodies! As usual, I provide you with the part that you're not here for, which is the not-sex.

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 7 - Kisame**

* * *

Kisame flipped through the pages of his bingo book idly, sighing when a gust of wind blew a mess of leaves into his face. He hated being on the roof, but there just wasn't anything to _do_ today.

Usually he could coax someone into sparring with him, although sometimes it took a bribe, lazy assholes, but today no one was even _there._ He could've sworn that Itachi was in the base somewhere—he could feel him skulking around in a one-man battle formation designed to discourage someone chasing after you, for some strange reason—but today he couldn't even find Tobi.

Kakashi Hatake, Kisame Hoshigaki (it was a lovely photo, really), Gaara of the Desert, Kabuto, some kid with green hair, Gai…wasn't it about time to chase down that bastard again? Nah, too much trouble. He didn't want to upset Pein just to satisfy a grudge. No one accomplished anything going around acting like Deidara, who would probably engage a suicide bomb to spite a fast-food worker who got his order wrong.

Kisame shifted and scratched his knee, put the bingo book down, and reached deep in his cloak, pulling out a thin book with a battered cover. This was the real reason he was on the roof. If anyone ever knew his obsession for the passionate romance between Heathcliff and Catherine, well, he'd win every battle due to the opponent's mocking laughter distracting them from the killing blow.

But that was all behind him now. Soon he was at the entrance to Thrushcross Grange with Lockwood, and anticipating the terrible nightmare. Catherine's ghost would come back from the clutches of death to—

"Kisame? What are you reading?"

_Putitawayputitawayputitaway._

"Kisaaaaame."

Kisame whipped around and threateningly pointed his sword at a small, pink-haired girl.

"And what do you think you're doing out of the building, little girl?"

"Oh…Pein let me out. Is that _Wuthering Heights?"_

"It's a bingo book, are you blind?"

"I had no idea that bingo books were considered such classic literature."

"Well, they _are._ You have to be an idiot not to know that."

"I'm sure. Hey, Kisame."

"Shouldn't you be in the lab or something? I'll escort you back there. There's really no need for you to be outside, and I need to get back to that book. Bingo book."

"That's unusually polite of you. Eager to get back to Catherine and Heathcliff?"

"I am _not_ reading whatever that is you're talking about."

"Mmm. You sure sound on the defensive."

She sidled up to his half of the roof and sat down, legs crossed.

"Kisame, can I touch your sword?"

"What, Samehada?"

"…Yeah, the one that looks like it's covered in toilet paper."

"It's not toilet paper," he muttered. But he held the tip of it in her direction, because what the hell could she possibly be plotting that would put _him_ in any danger?

"Mmm," Sakura murmured appreciatively. "It's so big…"

She reached out and licked the surface of the bandages, careful to avoid putting too much pressure and releasing the scales underneath. Delightfully, Kisame swallowed and a glazed expression came over him.

"Um, yes. It is, I suppose."

"So can I see how big your _other_ one is?"

Her bold statement was just a little _too _farward, and not like the feisty kunoichi he knew. Warily he looked around for a hidden camera that would explain her odd behavior but when detected none, he wanted to make sure he had heard her correctly.

"Come again?

"Oh I'd _love_ to," she purred seductively in a way that would have sent off warning bells if he hadn't been so fascinated by the way her tongue was tracing her bottom lip before licking his sword again.

"That's probably not a good idea," Kisame cautioned, not wanting to be held responsible if she injured herself on his sword. However, he couldn't look away from the entrancing sight of that pink tongue darting all over Samehada's tip as the blood flow to his groin increased.

"You're right, I should probably be licking _this one_ instead," she murmured, reaching past the sword to grab him through his cloak and the front of his pants. In his shock he dropped both the bingo book and his secret reading material, but he suddenly had much bigger and…harder things to worry about.

"Looks like you don't need my mouth," Sakura grinned, feeling the impressive bulge in her hand. "You're already ready to go."

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Kisame growled, trying to back away from her but finding that a very difficult task while she had an iron grip on his cock.

"Nothing yet, but I was hoping that _you _could be in me," Sakura smiled deviously, her emerald eyes clouded and lusty as she began popping the snaps open on his cloak, batting away his hands as he made halfheartedattempts to stop her.

"What makes you think I'd allow that?" he asked, dropping his sword with a thump when she popped the last snap and reached for the fly of his pants.

Sakura glanced at the abandoned book on the ground and then at him knowingly.

"If you're up here reading romance novels in secret, it's obvious you're a little deprived."

He couldn't argue with that. There was something about being an eight foot amphibious shark man with gills and gray skin and a mouth full of razors that seemed to turn off a lot of women, and with a man like Itachi as his partner, he was lucky to score at all, having to settle usually for the women so drunk that they were nearly comatose beneath him.

Sakura's proposition was starting to sound very alluring.

"But we're on the roof," he said quizzically, wondering why she didn't try to approach him somewhere where they could do the deed in comfort.

"Then you can enjoy the fresh air while you fuck my brains out," she said as she straightened to slip out of her clothes with lightening speed.

One minute she was clothed and the next she was completely naked and in straddling his lap while he still remained cross-legged on the floor trying to convince himself this was really happening.

"God, you're huge!" she breathed as she reached into his pants to pull out his rock hard length. His manhood was proportionate to the rest of him, long and imposing but Sakura was anything but intimidated. Just the sight of it made her insides throb even more painfully and she could waste no more time admiring him.

She braced her hands on his shoulders and slammed her hips down in one hard push, crying out at the raw pleasure that sung through her as his massive cock filled up the void inside her.

"Oh yeeees!" she moaned, arching her back as she began to bounce enthusiastically. "I think you can do it. You're the one."

Kisame was too busy seeing stars to bother making sense of her words. At the moment he was trying to remember how to breathe considering his penis had just been swallowed up by a tight, pulsating paradise. She was already so wet. He never would have guessed Sakura was a freak like this, and the way she was slamming her hips into his would have been painful if he wasn't so aroused.

"Fuck, Sakura," he groaned, bringing his hands to her hips to try and slow her down.

She was having none of it, shoving his shoulders backwards until he flat on his back on the concrete and proceeded to ride him with animalistic ferocity.

"Oh fuck! Oh yes!" she cried as she felt the heat in her belly build and coil into something that threatened to explode any second. He was so big, so wonderfully long that he filled her up the way nobody else had. She was so close…just a little more…

She was oblivious to her knees rubbing against the rough floor as she slammed her hips down once, twice and fell apart on top of him, her body spasming as that coiled heat inside her exploded, whiting out her vision and making her cry out in ecstasy without caring who might hear her.

Kisame watched in awe as she came, grunting as he felt her muscles grip his cock and milk him in the most exquisite way, but he wasn't going to give it up just yet, not when he finally had a willing woman to fuck.

He didn't even give her the change to recover before he hauled her onto her feet, his erection slipping out of her in the process.

"Bend over," he ordered, her orgasm breaking down the last of his resistance. If she wanted his cock she was going to get it, hard and fast.

"I knew you'd be a good lay," she panted as she bent over and braced her hands against the stone wall in front of her presenting her deliciously toned backside to the taller man.

"You should have come to me weeks ago, Pinkie," he growled as he slammed into her so hard her head almost smacked into the wall.

"Oh yes! Kisame! Fuck me hard just like that!"

He chuckled darkly and slipped one hand around her waist while the other hoisted one leg up under her knee, changing the angle of his cock inside of her as he drilled into her with bone jarring intensity.

She wailed like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on, clawing at the gray stone in front of her and trying to press back into his pistoning hips with every thrust. He was hitting so deeply inside of her it was making her head spin. Finally she would get the relief she was looking for!

"Oh yes! I'm coming Kisame! Oh fuck!"

She squeezed her eyes shut against the nearly painful pleasure of every muscle in her body clenching as her orgasm tore through her. Colors exploded across her vision as her nerve endings sizzled with electric heat and she was helpless to do anything but ride out the torrent until she was spent.

This time Kisame could not hold back and came with a growl, his balls tightening as he emptied himself into her at the first sharp squeeze of her pussy as she came. It was official. He could die happy.

No sooner had her earth shattering orgasm subsided, that familiar ache began to fill her once more. Sakura groaned in frustration and spun around, collapsing to her knees when her jelly-like legs couldn't support her but still having enough strength to reach out and take his softening member in her hand.

"You're not done yet," she panted harshly as she began to pump him none too gently, their combined fluids on his length aiding her in giving him a hand job.

"Again?" Kisame gaped, unable to believe that he had made her come like a freight train twice and she still wanted more. "You're an animal."

"Then fuck me like one!" she ordered, as she felt him harden in her hand all over again.

Kisame grinned, showing multiple rows of dangerously sharp teeth, a sight would have taken years off any anyone else's life.

"Have it your way," he said as she turned around, now on her hands and knees with her ass in the air. He rubbed his member against her opening, savoring just how wet she was and made sure to cover himself in a thick layer of her juices. She was going to need it.

"Just put it in already!" she whined, wiggling her ass in frustration.

He chuckled at her blatant need and gripped her hips with both hands to hold her still. He positioned his tip at the tight hole and pushed his hips forward in one slow, unwavering push.

"Ahhhhh!" she cried as she opened up to the massive intrusion, pleasure shooting up and down her spine at the wonderful sensation.

"You like that?" he growled in her ear as he began to thrust hard and slow, sliding easily thanks to her own natural lubricant smeared all over his length.

"Yes! Oh god yes!" she moaned, thrusting back against him wantonly. Sakura screamed loud enough to alert everyone in the hideout to her current activities, but she simply couldn't help it.

But it still wasn't enough.

"Faster," she moaned.

He was all too happy to oblige and began to pound into her hard and fast. Though Kisame didn't exactly have a lot of women to compare her to, he was sure that Sakura was the craziest, kinkiest and by far the horniest bitch he would ever meet.

The pleasure was hardly bearable, each vaginal contraction like a mini orgasm on its own, but she knew the best was still to come. Shifting her weight onto one arm, she reached between her legs to rub her swollen clit in time to the cock pounding in and out of her. The result was immediate.

"Oh…MY…_GOD_!" she sobbed as an orgasm unlike any other hit her like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of her and wracking her body so violently she thought she would break.

Kisame felt it too, her body contracting like a vice around his cock. "Holy fuck…" he breathed in something akin to awe as she literally milked the orgasm out of him, muscles massaging his cock until every drop had been spilt inside of her.

He pulled out and collapsed to the side, his eyes half lidded as he panted in shallow, uneven breaths.

Were all kunoichi from her village like this? If so, he was quitting Akatsuki and moving to Konoha, Pein and his plans be damned.

Sakura crumpled to the floor as she felt something warm and thick run down her thigh. Kisame had no doubt filled her to the brim. She had never felt so wonderfully boneless, so incredibly satiated in all her life. This is what she had needed, this is what she had been looking for. Now she could finally go back to the lab and finish up…no. Oh please no.

As soon as the throbbing of her orgasm died down, a new pulse began, a hungry, needy, aching pulse that threatened to make her crazy if she didn't stop it.

How was this possible? She had just had her brains fucked out. In fact, she wouldn't be surprised if they started oozing out of her ear and onto the concrete surface of the roof. How could she need more? How could her body even _take_ it?

But sure enough the ache was there, hollow and hot and too painful to be ignore.

"More," she breathed. Pushing up onto shaky hands and knees and crawling towards the motionless mass curled on his side. "Kisame, I need more."

The sword master cracked open an incredulous eye.

"You have got to be shitting me. You just came three times."

"I know, but it wasn't enough."

She was reaching for his member, the organ already limp and most definitely worn out.

"Don't touch me Pinkie," he growled, slapping her hand away. "I'm not a carnival ride. Two rounds back to back is all you're going to get."

"Come on, I'm sure I can persuade your body to cooperate," she said, mustering her sweetest smile.

Kisame may have liked sex, but he liked life more, and he knew that if she had her way with him again, he was most assuredly going to die.

"Go use the sharp end of a kunai you freak," he growled, pushing her away when she tried to take him in her hand again.

"Freak?" Sakura said indignantly. "You are one to talk, Fish Face."

"Hey, that didn't stop you from fucking me did it?" he shot back, tucking his cock back into his pants and beginning to fasten his cloak.

"I thought you'd have at least half the skill with your dick that you do with that sword. Maybe I should have been fucking _it_ instead."

"Baby, I'd love to see you try," Kisame laughed, knowing that could be quite a messy affair.

"Fine, I'll just find someone else who knows how to use his cock," she huffed, snatching her clothes off the ground and putting them on almost as fast as she took them off.

In moments, the shark man was alone on the roof with only his scattered books and sword on the ground. He picked up his romance novel, but somehow the adventures of Catherine and Heathcliff seemed a little anticlimactic after what had just happened.

* * *


	8. Deidara

**A/N:** THE ORIGINAL MEGA TAG TEAM CO-AUTHORSHIP IS BACK. That's right, ladies. Fallacy/KorinaCaffeine/That Wonderful Woman is BACK with the sex, and I wrote an astonishing four pages of not-sex for her to work with. So bask in it. BASK.

Thank you Cynchick for a quick, second round of betaing.

Also, new summary by Cynchick, since satire and sarcasm don't really do anything here, and because it would take me an hour to come up with a new one. Thank you again, Cynchick!

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 8 - Deidara**

* * *

She could hear him before she saw him. From what she knew about his unhealthy attraction to things that exploded, it was hardly unexpected.

But this time, she wasn't tracking him down by the thrill of shock waves and sparking electricity. This time, she was listening for his whining. Sakura thought it was a shame that Deidara's incredible skill at complaining and arguing and generally being an ass was not included in bingo books around the world. The man could practically bitch someone to death.

Sakura rounded the corner and crouched beside the sliding door that led into the hot springs (fake and too hot) and shallow pools (the bottom was made of some sort of abrasive material that scratched your butt up really bad) that she considered the financial failing of the Akatsuki. So he was in here? Really, she had no idea men even cared to bathe at all. Here he was uprooting all of that, and he didn't even know she was here.

"What the hell do you want, yeah?"

Damn. So she couldn't sneak up on him, then. Probably he had attuned his chakra-sensing skills, no doubt as an effect of almost being raped on those numerous occasions when, if you squinted right, he looked like a woman from behind.

But, Sakura mused to herself, sneaking didn't seem to hit with him. In her search to be satisfied, she had been missing out on a substantial amount of potential foreplay. Maybe _that_ was the reason they all sucked balls at fucking women! Sakura smiled, happy to have figured it all out.

Now, all she needed to do was butter him up.

"Are you gonna come in here or do I have to go get you?"

Sakura kicked her shoes off and left them sprawled out outside the door, opened the sliding door, and crawled into the changing area. So far, he couldn't see who it was, and he couldn't be _expecting_ her, by any means. It was substantial to the plot that she kept the upper hand. It was also exceedingly more substantial that Deidara was sexy, whether the plot was enacted or not, which is always a plus.

His clothes lay haphazardly in a basket, and she noticed they were blood- and clay-streaked and dirty, a sure sign that he was just back from a mission. She groaned to herself. So much for getting him in peak condition. Well, she'd just have to be a little more persuasive this time, put in a little more physical effort herself, and everything would be just perfect. Right?

She peeked around the door of the changing room, whipping her head back in when Deidara glanced her way. Sweet! His hair was down. Sakura shucked her clothes off in the fastest manner possible and began rooting through the cabinets for some shampoo. Usually there was a bottle or two that someone put in case of…there it was. Awesome. She peeked through the window this time, ducking down when he completely turned around from where he was submerged in one of the pools, glaring at the window.

He was just so adorable, all soaking wet with his hair down, it had to be said. If she had to pick an asshole out of all the assholes in the building, it just might be him, due to the sheer amount of charisma he had. If she stabbed a guess at it, she would calculate that he could possibly bang a woman up to seven times in one night. After his dick stopped working, then he could just use his hands. And after he passed out, well, she'd just hump him. That was probably the potion talking…she hoped.

"Time to mobilize the troops, captain," Sakura spoke into the shampoo bottle, giggling madly at herself. This was way better than being drunk by a _long_ shot. Holding the shampoo bottle in her mouth to maximize sexiness, she opened the changing room door and swaggered out on her hands and knees, crawling towards her prey like a lioness stalking fried okra. Wait, what?

"…Sakura?"

Deidara stared at her, wide-eyed, but he certainly wasn't staring at her face. Score. As an added bonus, he'd apparently stood up to confront the stranger encroaching on his nakedness, giving Sakura a lovely view of the…merchandise. _Damn,_ what a package.

But seriously, it was time to stop staring at her boobs now. Come on. Boobs aren't that special. Not surprisingly, Deidara completely ignored this telepathic message and kept staring, watching them swing back and forth. Okay, now it was officially wandering into the realm of creepy. Time to pick it up a notch.

Sakura put her hands on Deidara's shoulders, turned him around, and shoved him down to the bottom of the pool, where he perched silently on the underwater ledge there, his chin barely poking out of the top of the water, which was also adorable.

Shockingly, he just sat there the whole time she squirted a blob of the manly-smelling shampoo onto his cute wittle self, lathered it up, and massaged it into his scalp in the most sensual display of hair-washing known to man. The only problem with this sort of thing was that the person couldn't really watch you seduce them, and if they could they'd just get soap in their eyes. The only thing left to do was engage him in conversation—dear God, why did it come to this?—and hope he hadn't already gone into shock from an overdose on titties.

"Are you okay?" She sighed down at him. "You've never been this quiet in your whole life, from what I've heard."

He didn't say anything. She plopped down all the way to the floor and scooted up until she pressed right up against him, a leg on either side of his body dangling into the water.

"So, I've never really talked to you before, Deidara," she began again in a lilting tune. "What do you get up to when you're not around the base?"

Still nothing. Jeez. Sakura leaned forward, balancing her weight on his left shoulder to eye the silent male carefully, hands stilling as she strained to see his facial expression, or if he was moving at all. Maybe he fell asleep…no, he was definitely awake. People who were asleep didn't chew on their lower lip and clutch their knees with enough force to snap a femur in half. His eyes were hidden under a curtain of wet hair, but Sakura had a feeling they were closed. Shampoo in your eye sockets wasn't pleasant, after all. But was there another reason? Hmmm…

"Um," she continued nervously, trying to hold back the ache in her legs and ignore the dampness in her thighs for a few minutes longer. "Are you okay? I know this is a little sudden, but I was really hor—really wanting to take some active steps in this, uh, relationship and…stuff."

He really wasn't helping things, sitting there all stiff, Sakura grumbled as she washed the soap out of his hair with a metal dipper sitting close by. Maybe he needed a massage or something. She began to knead at his shoulders, surprised by how tense he was. Gosh, what the hell was wrong with him?

"Could you loose up a bit? It's kind of hard when you're all scrunched up. Hang on, let me get closer to you."

It was almost impossible, but if she wrapped her legs around his chest, she could get pressed up right on his skin. She wiggled around a bit to get comfortable—and noticed when he squeezed a little harder on his knees as she did this, score again—and resumed kneading.

"So I know you're into art and stuff. What's it like being an artist? Were you ever homeless or something?"

At this, he seemed to perk up and relax substantially, despite the vagina pressing into his back rather shamelessly.

"That's a stereotype, yeah. People always think that, and it's not true. But I have been homeless before, and that was just from being a missing nin. You kind of give up houses and shit after you leave, and—wait, why the fuck are you even _talking_ to me? Don't you _hate_ me?"

He twisted around, propping an elbow on the side of the pool, and craned his neck awkwardly to look Sakura in the face. She still couldn't see his eyes, covered with limp hair, but she could feel the suspicion in the air. Ignoring it, she combed the hair back from his face with her fingers—he scrunched up his nose when her hand brushed over it—turned his head back around with her hands, and resumed kneading once more.

"Shhh…just tell me more. I'm interested."

"No, seriously. Are you fucking with me?"

"Maybe later. Just tell me more."

"Huh?"

"So I heard you hate Itachi. Care to voice an opinion on him?"

"Why the fuck do you care, yeah?"

That sounded like an unpopular topic of conversation with him. Back to plan A, then.

"All right, let's talk about art. Were you always an artist? Is it something that comes with being born?"

He sighed loudly, then apparently gave up some inner struggle—really, it was so nice of him not to be a rude asshole and start grabbing body parts like _some_ men seemed to enjoy doing—and leaned back against her chest. Sakura relaxed her legs again and gently swayed them back and forth in the water.

"No, it's something you figure out, yeah. Like a—a feeling you get inside you when you really like doing something." He drummed his fingers nervously along his thighs underwater; maybe he'd gotten a little too personal than he was used to.

"I knew when I was little that I wanted to be an artist," he continued. "It was just something I knew, and couldn't confuse with anything else. This little fuckery of a shinobi group sucks ass, but when I'm with my art, I'm happy, yeah. And that's—that's it, I guess. I don't want to talk about that anymore, okay?" He huffed, crossed his arms, and sunk down a little in the water.

Good grief. He sure wouldn't have any problems being a woman. He already had the PMS syndrome mastered, hands down.

"It's so nice that you open up to people so fast. You don't seem to have any problems baring your soul, so to speak."

"I'm not ashamed of myself. It's bullshit to try and pretend you're someone you're not, yeah."

"Mmm."

"So seriously, yeah. Why the fuck did you come in here naked and start rubbing on me? I'm sure it wasn't to rub my shoulders, talk about shit, and leave."

Sakura sighed. With someone like him, concealed purposes would get her nowhere. Time to step it up a notch and quit screwing around. In the figurative sense only, of course.

"I've just spend my whole morning and early afternoon fucking Zetsu, Pein, Ma—Tobi, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Kisame, pretty much. I was just so horny, and they were in my way. But really," she drawled, deciding that a little flattery never hurt a man's libido. "I was kind of hoping I'd find you. Not only are you freaking sexy, I just think you'd be the one to do what they can't, which is make me have an actual orgasm. Of course, I haven't had sex with Itachi, and I might not even need to if you can handle me.

"I'm going to be frank, Deidara, since you've been deciding to sit here like an asexual lump. I'm going to have sex with you, and that's that. And just sitting there and letting me do all the work is unacceptable. I'm sure you're perfectly aware of all the other things you can do with those hand mouth things of yours, and I intend to explore all sexual possibilities that can be extracted from them. I'm getting hot just _thinking_ about it. And don't think I haven't noticed you staring at me in the lab when I'm sewing stuff up. You just might be the least subtle man I know. So what's it going to be? Do you think you can do better than all of them?"

He forcefully removed himself from her legs and oddly soothing hands, whirling around in the water to face her. His hair was still soapy and pushed back, almost curly while it was wet and weighted with suds, and it would have been endearing if the soap hadn't dripped onto his chin and made it look like he had a white goatee.

"What the fuck is _wrong _with you?" he demanded, angrily wiping the soap from his chin with the back of his hand. "You fuck six other guys—"

"Well, with Pein, it was technically seven—"

"—and expect me to jump on the 'screw Sakura senseless' bandwagon? It's like…sloppy second. Sloppy sixths! That's disgusting!"

"Come on, it's really not so bad," Sakura offered, still swinging her legs playfully. The arguing was dulling down the desire in her gut, but not by much. "Really, you can just fuck, flee, and forget, and I'll be fine with that. Just don't forget the foreplay."

It looked like he might consider it for a moment, but then he shook his head and turned away from her. "I'm not sticking my dick in some washed-out, saggy, cum-soaked vagina."

Sakura's fingers clenched so hard into the edge of the pool that she broke off splinters of concrete. _"Washed-out? _Who are you calling washed-out?"

"I said your _vagina _was washed-out, because it _is, _yeah. If you're willing to fuck an entire organization of criminals without a second thought, I'd say you're a slut."

She jumped in the water, hands still fisted, barely noticing the way he turned and his eyes flicked to her chest, then back to her face. "I drank something in the lab that made me like this! Do you think I _want _to fuck any of you ingrates?"

"Well, you _did. _And I'll be damned if I'm just another check on your list."

Rage almost, _almost _replaced the throbbing between her legs, and she lunged at him, shoving him underwater, hands around his neck. The back of his head hit the bottom of the pool and made a rather satisfying thumping noise. Fuck it, she'd kill him and then rape his corpse. Somehow.

He overpowered her and resurfaced, swapping their positions. "Crazy bitch!" he shouted, clapping a hand over her mouth and pinning her securely to the bottom. Sakura could faintly see a blurry, wiggly outline of his face above her, and then a swift left hook sent that face of his careening out of her field of vision and halfway across the pool.

He struggled to the edge of the pool and climbed out, dripping and naked and looking very delicious with his too-red face and the angry glint in his eyes. Sakura followed him and watched him stare very fixedly, very much determinedly at her eyes.

"Can we come to a truce now?" she asked, cracking her knuckles as she fisted her hands.

"Anything that doesn't involve my dick inside your repulsive vagina."

She screamed and ran at him again, fist pulled back and glowing gently with chakra. He feinted to the right and then hopped straight over her, making a break down the courtyard and between all of the searing hot springs. "Even if you catch me," he called over his shoulder, "you can't make me get it up!"

"I'm a medic!" she shouted back, rushing at him, missing, and almost falling into one of the hot springs. "You'd be surprised at the things I can do with my chakra."

The look he shot her was equal parts horror and morbid curiosity, but then he ran along the far wall, feet sticky with chakra, and almost jumped over it and out into the field beyond. But Sakura grabbed him by the ankle and swung him like a shot-put into a deeper pool, where the splash his body made as it hit the water was one of the most single satisfying sounds Sakura had heard all day.

She jumped in right after him, caught him while he was underwater, and shoved him against the pool wall. Her hands fisted into the hair at the back of his head and she sneered. And Deidara…well, Deidara smiled.

She slammed him into the wall again, grabbing his face with one hand and smooshing his cheeks. He tore his face away from her and turned it to the side to laugh.

"What are you laughing about?" she demanded, on the verge of tears. She was angry, frustrated, a little confused, and very turned on. It wasn't a nice mix.

"That was the _most _fun I've had in this place in fucking _forever!" _he announced, holding his stomach as he doubled over. "You're too much."

She contemplated slapping him hard across the face, but her hand went the complete opposite direction, and she grabbed a very sensitive area, bending slightly. "Do you think this is funny?"

He'd winced initially, but now he was all grins and giggles again. "I think it's fucking hot, yeah." And then he grabbed her by her neck and pressed his lips to hers, and Sakura almost pulled away before the wave of heat hit her like a ton of bricks. Her knees almost buckled. This was it. Deidara had to be The One.

She released him when he slung an arm around her waist, his other hand moving from her neck to one very cold, pert nipple. "Nothing would please me more than to be inside of you," he said under his breath, and Sakura felt like purring.

"Still think I'm washed out?" she managed, tilting her head back and running her hands down his chest, tracing the stitches and where she assumed the tattoo was, brushing lightly over his navel.

"We'll just have to see," he teased, and he turned her full around, propping her up on the edge of the pool. He took her by the thighs and dragged her into position, draping each of her legs over his shoulders, and his mouth on her inner thighs, his tongue finding her clit and following every curve of her sex was a sensation she couldn't concretely describe.

She almost took off his head the couple times the urge to squeeze her knees together arose, but she staved off the knee-jerk reaction, clenching her fingers into his hair and her own thighs, rolling her hips when she saw fit. And it felt like he enjoyed every minute of it, because the grip he held on her tightened and he moaned into her a couple times, which was very, very nice.

"Now," she gasped, "stop. If you don't stop—"

It was all the warning he needed. He hefted himself up to the side of the pool with her, crawled over her, kissed her neck, and took his length in his hand, sliding it through her once or twice before slipping it seamlessly in.

"Fuck," he said on an exhale. "I wasn't expecting that."

"What?"

He pulled out and pushed back in slowly, breathing heavily. _"Tight."_

She laughed and wrapped her legs around him. "Good. Now _move faster."_

So he did, several times, putting his hand-mouths on her nipples and his own mouth to her collarbone, her throat, her lips. He was moaning louder than she was, each thrust bringing a different pitch from him, and Sakura delighted in it, savoring the sounds and the feeling, even the way he sometimes pulled too far away from her and slipped out. And after a few moments he stilled, clenched his teeth, and hung his head.

"Done?" she asked, disappointed, panting.

"No," he said, "catching my breath. Excuse me if I prefer a traditional form of copulation."

"Oh, I like missionary," she hummed, rolling her hips, and Deidara winced.

"Don't do that, yeah. Just give me a second."

She counted to seven before he took a deep breath and grunted on a thrust. "Tell me non-sexy things."

"Like what?"

"I don't know! Things that aren't sexy. Kakuzu. Talk about Kakuzu."

"Actually, Kakuzu's kind of sexy. I like the stitches—"

"Okay, don't talk about Kakuzu. I don't want to think of him when I climax, thanks."

Sakura stiffened when he angled his hips a different way, just a delicate shift downwards, and she clenched around him.

"That's not helping!"

"I don't care," she breathed, "just do—don't stop."

And just like that, she could feel the dark shadow of an orgasm, heady in her gut and pulling her insides taut, sensitizing Deidara's every touch until she was writhing and squirming, making noises she didn't even realize she was making. The last straw was her suddenly hearing Deidara's labored breathing, seeing him moving above her, feeling him inside her, because she broke, bit her lip, and arched into him, clutching his shoulders tight enough to leave bruises.

She didn't know when he came or how it was for him, because she felt incredibly dizzy and incredibly sated as he collapsed beside her, much like the rest of them. But his arm stayed around her waist, not much like the rest of them, and he pressed his face into her neck.

She kept her eyes closed lazily, waiting for her breathing to slow and hoping that Deidara had done the impossible and finally satisfied her. She couldn't even feel the slow burn of that medicine anymore, though her veins and muscles and every inch of her was positively thrumming for a very, very different reason. After a few moments the world came back into focus, starting with touch. The pool water on the concrete was rapidly cooling beneath her back, while the sun warmed her topside. The second was smell, the muggy, salty smell of the pools and hot springs around them. Third was hearing, Deidara's even breathing beside her and the distant call of birds. Fourth was sight, when she opened her eyes and squinted into the sun. She never really registered taste, though, because one does not usually register the taste of their own saliva.

That was it. It had to be it. Deidara had broken her from the horrible curse, or it had finally worn off, or _something. _Either way, she couldn't feel an aching desire for satiation or an itch she couldn't scratch, and she almost started crying. Instead she rolled over to face Deidara, who also had his eyes closed, and who was laying on his side facing her.

She nuzzled into his neck and sighed. "You did it," she said, grinning like an idiot. "Final—"

He shifted ever so slightly, murmuring, his lips moving unconsciously over her shoulder.

It was back. Burning, absolutely _searing, _much worse than it had ever been, and this time Sakura did cry. She whined and pressed her cheek to his, and the frustration at being back where she started was almost overwhelming.

"It didn't work," she sniffled, pulling away from him abruptly and wiping away her tears, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Can we try again?"

Deidara rolled onto his stomach, using his arms as a pillow. Wet strands of blond hair fell to frame his face, and Sakura frowned.

"You're sleeping? Come on, Deidara, please try it again."

"I'm tired," he muttered, eyes still closed.

"And I'm horny!" She poked him in the ribs with a toe, and he flinched away. "Come on!"

"Later."

"Now!"

He furrowed his brow and turned away from her. "We can do it again later, I'm tired right now."

She jumped on him, rolling him onto his back, and took his length into her hand. He didn't even twitch.

"I'm too fucking tired," he whimpered. "And stop scratching it! It's sensitive."

"Not sensitive enough," she complained, and despite her best efforts, Deidara fell limp. Every time.

"This is insane! How is this not turning you on?"

"I told you, I'm tired." He peeked at her with one eye. "Come back later, yeah."

"No! Fuck you! Fuck me! _Now!"_

He didn't respond, eyes still closed, hair splayed around his head like a halo. Sakura cried out in aggravation, slapping the wet concrete with her palms. "Damn it, Deidara! I need you!"

She bit her lip and watched him, crying. She was so damn tired of this! Her head hadn't been clear since the morning—everything felt fuzzy, heavy. She felt careless and indifferent to anything that didn't involve copious amounts of sex. It wasn't a nice feeling, especially when she'd rather be doing anything _but. _

She crawled to where his head was, steadied herself with a hand on either side of him, and bent her lips to his. Maybe if she could just _give him the hint that she wasn't playing around…_

His eyes opened slowly, first one and then the other, and his question died in his throat when her tongue brushed over his bottom lip. Her mouth was trembling and her teeth knocked his, but he didn't seem to care. At least he was waking up.

He jerked away from her, eyes wide. "What are you doing?"

"You don't understand, do you?" she asked, sobbing now. "It's not like I want to do any of this shit. I _have _to. I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't." She put her hands on his thighs when he sat up, her fingers digging into his skin. "Can you please try to help me?"

He frowned deeper than before. "I don't know if I can, yeah. Are you serious about this medicine?"

"Yes!"

He looked away from her, rubbing his cheek in an adorable display of embarrassment. "I thought you were just using that as an excuse…"

"Please help," she said, and it was the most sincere thing she'd said in a long time.

"Why don't you just run some tests in your lab? I'm sure there's an antidote—"

"I can't! Not like this! I can't concentrate on anything. Can you work with me? Keep me satisfied long enough to focus and try to fix this?"

"I—I can try," he said, and then she kissed him again, full of misplaced passion and mixed signals. She'd never been more attentive to keeping a person interested than she was at that moment, and she tilted her head, fitting her lips against his nicely. Her tongue made broad, gentle sweeps through his mouth, and Deidara groaned into her, especially so when she wrapped a fist around him one more time, still half soft.

She pushed him to the ground and he obeyed, while she kissed down his neck, over a nipple, hard from cold air and maybe stimulation, down over his navel, stopping to stroke her hand down over him. He arched into her hand, sighing her name.

She situated herself between his legs, mouth over the tip of his full erection, sliding her tongue along the slit and down his shaft. She pulled away only to thumb away the pre-cum, and then her lips were at the base, licking the underside before her tongue came back to the tip once more.

"Get on with it," he pleaded, voice muffled, so Sakura did. She took him in slowly, inch by inch, until he touched the back of her throat and she held her gag reflexes in check through sheer force of will. She did this once or twice, but his hips thrust upwards dangerously the last time, so she slid deft fingers up and down his length with as much gusto as she was feeling in a very neglected place in the cradle of her very neglected thighs.

"Fuck," he groaned, barely pulling that one syllable together. "Ah, _fuck—"_

"I know," Sakura mumbled, mouth still around him, and the sound he made, somewhere in between a gasp and a stifled grunt, made her shiver. She bobbed her head and worked her hand over whatever part of him she couldn't quite cover. He fidgeted under her, rolled his hips, flexed and unflexed his toes, and it seemed like his hand didn't know where to go. He alternated between clutching his own head, the concrete, and clenched into fists at his side.

"It feels like I'm dying," Deidara said, "or flying," and Sakura laughed, once more prompting another half grunt. He was acting sort of delirious, and she was enjoying every second of it.

His entire body tensed at one point, and he stilled, but Sakura pulled away quickly, much to his dismay. The back of his head hit the concrete and he squeezed his eyes shut tight. "This borders on abuse," he said, and his voice was raspy. He was trembling from exhaustion at this point, and from being denied orgasm. It was slightly unfair—this she agreed to. So she straddled him, lowered herself onto him, and almost purred when one of his hands instinctively fell to the aching and the pulsing pressure between her legs. The handmouth there licked and sucked while she pumped him, bouncing on her heels and steadying herself by leaning backwards and holding onto his thighs. The double-stimulation made her head swim.

"This isn't going to work," he moaned aloud, stopping her with two hands on her waist. "We can't."

"What are you talking about? Don't stop now!" She swallowed the panting, staring at him incredulously.

"No, it's—the position—it's too much for me," he admitted, and she noted the red flush to his face, his ragged breathing, and the way he dipped his head forward slightly as he sat up. "We have to try something else."

She climbed off him, reluctantly, and sat cross-legged on the concrete. She'd meant to plot a position that was a little less intense for him, but he took this as a bid for him to make his own means. He forced her down onto her back and then hooked his hands under her knees, bringing them up over his shoulders again. He teased her a little longer with the mouths on his hands, breathing just as heavily as she, swallowing every so often and closing his eyes.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked between breaths, and he said nothing, only nodded. Once again, with an alarming amount of force, he buried himself inside of her, teeth clenched and brow furrowed. It was obvious that he was concentrating, holding back as best he could.

"Are you close?" he asked, when the front of his thighs were pressed firmly against the back of hers, her legs up over his shoulders, pinching her own nipples with her hands. She nodded, and he started up a rhythm that she couldn't keep up with.

She had little to no control in this position, and the relinquishment of power felt absolutely wonderful. All of his senses of self-control snapped after a moment, and his movements became jerky, disorderly, with no clear intention in mind other than to find a release.

"Kiss me," she breathed, and he did, head bending low to drop a quick, deep kiss on her lips. "Kiss me again," she said, and once more he acquiesced, stilling inside of her while he fulfilled the request, simply rocking slowly against her. His shaft rubbed against her clit when he did this, and she struggled to catch the breath that she had just lost.

"Whenever you want," he whispered, "come to me. I'll help you. Always." He winced when she clenched around him. "And not just with sex, Sakura." He pulled away and then thrust back in particularly hard. _"Anything."_

She couldn't feel the presence of mind to think of anything to say in reply. But with his lips hovering just inches over hers, his hair falling down around them in a curtain of blond, all she could think to confess was "I love you," on an exhale of breath.

He stopped very suddenly, eyes wide and unmistakably blue—confused and demanding an explanation.

"Please, just don't stop," she begged. "Not now! Don't—"

"Don't say that again," he said, and there was a tired hint of something in his expression and in the way that he averted his eyes from her that made Sakura unexpectedly sad. But he continued just then, harder than before, faster, with a little more determination, or maybe with less regard for how Sakura fared, that made her forget just about everything.

He grunted with every thrust, until it all seemed to build up and then quickly shatter, and she watched the play of emotions on his face, the tensing, tightening, the tautness of his body. He jerked once or twice before he mumbled a half-hearted apology and pulled out, wilting to her side.

"Deidara?"

The only movement from him was the rise and fall of his chest. He was ignoring her.

"So, what, you get your lot and then just drop off? That's not _fair!"_

No answer.

She rubbed the sticky mess off of her thighs, as if rubbing whatever emotions had passed between them in the act right from her life. "You said you would _help _me!"

Bursting into another fit of tears, making Deidara visibly wince and turn around, she jumped into a nearby pool to clean herself off. Afterwards she grabbed a towel and stalked inside.

When she was gone, Deidara slipped into a hot spring, grimacing at the soreness of every muscle in his body. He laid his head down on the concrete over folded arms, and was asleep within seconds.

* * *


	9. Konan

**A/N:** …I'm _very_ interested to know what you all think about this one in particular. There was almost as much speculation for this one as...the one coming up next, I believe.

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 9 - Konan**

* * *

Sakura grumbled to herself, irately shaking the water from her hair, no longer steamy, but chilling her to the bone. The cold was almost enough to sate her craving…only not really. It _just wasn't enough._

And God forbid if anyone thought she was getting any enjoyment out of this. Normally she wouldn't touch any of these freak show rejects with a pole of any size or shape (she'd prefer something sharp and deadly, if given the choice), but this…urge…drove her even to them to satisfy herself.

Now there was only one left. And if he didn't do the job…what then? Sakura stormed down the hallway, not noticing the other presence until she lumbered right into its breasts, knocking it clean off the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Konan apologized, ignoring the fact that it wasn't her fault, as usual. "I must not have been looking where I was—Sakura, are you all right? You look sick."

Sakura helped the other woman off the floor and sighed, her animosity toward the most brainwashed of the group momentarily sated in relief of female contact. After doing nothing but fucking men's brains out all day, there was nothing like another girl to blab about it to.

"Well, I'm not okay. To be brief, I drank a potion gone to hell in the lab, and it made me horny. I've already screwed practically the entire organization except Itachi, and as soon as I find him I'd better get over this stupid love potion or whatever."

Konan went very still.

"You said…the _entire_ organization?"

Sakura sensed dangerous ground afoot. In a moment of insight, she decided to avoid a potentially fatal encounter.

"Well…." She drawled nervously. "Not the _entire_ organization. I couldn't find Pein, and even if I did, he's kind of off-limits, huh?"

The tension in the air evaporated, and Konan offered Sakura a rare smile.

"Of course. So did you get rid of this…potion? It sounds like it could be dangerous, especially in the hands of a man. You know how they can be."

"Oh, duh! I left it right on the lab tabletop! Shit, I should go back and get rid of it. Itachi can wait, I'm afraid to say. If someone like Deidara got hold of it…let's just say there would be much more blond people around this city. And no one wants that, so…"

"Don't worry," Konan interrupted, the blank look back on her face. "I'll take care of it. You go run along and…find Itachi, why don't you. Leave the potion to me. You said it was right on the counter? What color is it?"

"Yeah, it should be right there. And I think it's blue…"

"Very good. Get going and screw, then. Whatever you kids call it these days. I will take care of _everything._ Oh, and if you don't see Pein or I for a while, don't be alarmed. A mission came up."

"Huh? When?"

"Right this second. Anyway, I'll go dump that stuff. See you around."

Normally Sakura would have to refuse, as lab matters, especially one as critical as this one, should only be handled professionally. But instead of refusing and politely killing the offer off, she grinned thankfully at Konan and continued dashing down the hallway, completely missing the devilish grin on the woman's face.

* * *


	10. Itachi

**A/N: **Itachi's chapter comes to you entirely from the mind of Cynchick this time, because I was too afraid I'd screw it up. Also because it's twice as fun to read crack you didn't write yourself, especially if it's good crack, like this beauty here. One more chapter to go!

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 10 - Itachi**

* * *

Where the hell _was_ that bastard?

He was hiding from her, she just knew it. Why else would he be so hard to find? She'd been searching for so long her hair was nearly dry. Someone probably tipped him off…Kisame, maybe?

Nah. Kisame was probably still passed out on the roof.

The last place she saw Itachi was…on the stairs, on her way up to the roof to find Pein (which never happened, if anyone with blue hair came asking). She vaguely remembered speaking to him in passing, but she'd been too busy undressing him with her eyes to really pay attention. Had she said something that made him sneak off and avoid her like this?

She shook her head irritably. It didn't matter. She would find him, and then it was _so_ on.

She stopped in the middle of the long hallway, pressing one finger to her chin thoughtfully. If she were a bastard, clan-killing genius…where would she be hiding?

If she didn't find him soon she was going to burn up and melt to the floor in a pile of horny goo. She was about ready to just grab someone else again, maybe go back and pull Deidara out of his coma and use chakra to force the blood to his groin. But no…she needed to find Itachi. If anyone in Akatsuki could cure her of this…_thing_, it would be the Uchiha. She just knew it.

Then it clicked, and an evil grin spread across her face. Of course! He would be hiding in the one place she'd least expect to find him!

Sakura flat out sprinted down the hall and up the stairs, slowing to a cautious stop and masking her chakra just outside his room. Itachi was a tough adversary, and if he'd set his mind to avoid her she was going to have to be clever about this.

The door was locked. That figured. She began pounding on the door with all of her natural strength, rattling it on its hinges. "Uchiha Itachi! I _know_ you're in there! If you don't open this door I'm gonna break it down and you _know_ I can so you better—"

The door disappeared from under her fist as it quickly swung inward, and if he hadn't had excellent reflexes she would have whacked him in the face. Instead he caught her by the wrist none too gently.

Her expression slipped into a beatific smile. "Itachi. Hi."

His eyes narrowed warily "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing really. I was just wondering…"

Itachi made a startled sound as his vision was cut off by a long red strip wrapping around his eyes. Sakura's hitai-ate. Too late, he realized his mistake when the hand holding her wrist suddenly grasped air as her clone popped. The real Sakura had gotten behind him and instantly disabled his best defense.

He was so surprised by the sudden turn of events he forgot to struggle for a second, and Sakura took full advantage by hauling him over to the bed and using chakra binding wires to tie his hands and ankles to the bedposts. That speed training had really paid off.

She straddled his hips and grinned in triumph at her conquest. "Well. That was easier than expected. Maybe you secretly wanted me to find you?"

"Sakura. Untie me."

His cold demand didn't entirely hide the distinct edginess in his tone. Sakura merely smiled and pulled a kunai from his leg holster, then began to cut his shirt open from waist to neck. "So you can knock me out and run away again? No thanks. I think I like my idea better."

"You will regret this," he warned.

"Oh I doubt that. And I'm pretty sure neither will you."

And that was the plan. If she could get him as excited about the idea of repeatedly screwing as _she_ was, then maybe he would be the one to finally cure her. Deidara had been on board with her and he was doing _so_ well, too…until he went and passed out from a stupid little thing like exhaustion. Wimp.

Itachi was her last hope.

She rose up a little to unfasten his pants. Itachi strained against the wires and snarled – _actually_ snarled – at her as she tugged them down over his hips along with his underwear. She ignored him and licked her lips as she gazed hungrily at his revealed – and quite impressive – manhood. "Oh yeah…I'm _definitely_ gonna be cured."

"Cured of what? Sakura, why are you doing this?"

"I don't know," she replied mournfully. She slipped off him and began removing her clothes. "Something's wrong with me…and no one and nothing has been able to help. I just feel so _hot_…and _empty_." She straddled him again, fully naked, and leaned over to brush her lips across his ear, using her most seductive tone, "Won't you help me, Itachi?"

"You are not yourself. You don't really want this."

She smirked and pulled the lobe between her teeth. "Oh yes I do. You see…this isn't the first time I've thought about you like this. What it would be like to feel you inside me and fuck you senseless. Of course I wouldn't have acted on it before, but now…"

Itachi sucked in a sharp breath as she rolled her hips and rubbed against his member like a cat in heat, but he continued to tug futilely against his restraints. "That's not going to work on me, Sakura. My willpower is stronger than yours."

"Is that a challenge?" she whispered playfully, then ran her tongue across the seam of his lips.

He turned his face away before she could fully kiss him. "Don't flatter yourself. I have no interest in you this way," he said harshly.

Sakura's eyes narrowed, but a moment later the twitch of his cock beneath her told a very different story. She giggled. "Looks like your body doesn't agree with your mouth, Itachi."

His lip curled in an angry sneer and he jerked at the wires again. "Sakura, get off of me," he growled.

She placed a finger over his lips to silence him and leaned over again, this time dipping her tongue into his ear. "Come on, now…it's not that bad, is it…_Itachi_?" She dragged out his name in the most sensual, breathy voice she possessed. His breath hitched and his member twitched again, and it was definitely not as soft as before. Sakura grinned. So he liked that, did he?

She began kissing an open mouthed trail down his chest and over his fantastically toned abs, noting smugly on the way down that he'd stopped struggling. She wasted no more time and grabbed his member in her hand, giving it a few teasing strokes before running her tongue over the head. Her hand remained at the base and pumped him as she ran her tongue over every inch, then took him fully into her mouth.

Itachi seemed to have given up the resistance because he was rock hard now and beginning to breathe heavily. A wave of unbridled lust shot through her, heat and wetness flooding her core. She couldn't wait any longer. She released him from her mouth with a soft pop, and he gave a sharp intake of breath that almost sounded like protest. She crawled up his body and straddled his hips again, still holding him in her hand, and positioned his tip at her entrance.

"Sakura…" Itachi growled in warning, through clenched teeth.

She sighed impatiently. "Be honest, Itachi; do you _really_ want me to stop?" she purred, giving his shaft a light squeeze.

His breath caught again, and he remained silent. That was all the answer she needed.

She slowly sank down onto him, moaning sharply when he was fully inside her, hitting as deep as he could go. She was on the brink of orgasm already, and the feel of him filling her so tightly sent her hurtling toward the edge. She rolled her hips once – and came. She rode out her orgasm in a series of breathy moans, only vaguely noticing Itachi groaning through clenched teeth as she tightened and pulsated around him.

And when it was over she kept right on going, bracing her hands on either side of his head and grinding against him in a wild, fast rhythm, desperately seeking release again. Itachi was enjoying it too, she noticed through a haze of lust, because he was straining against his bonds again for entirely different reasons, his hips rising beneath hers in the most amazing way.

"Sakura…untie me," he rasped, cutting off sharply when she rolled her hips particularly hard.

She shook her head, not caring if he couldn't see her. She ran the tip of her tongue over the rim of his ear. "I thought we were past the point of you pretending to resist me."

She felt his hot breath against her neck as he turned his head toward her, and gasped in surprise when she felt his lips on her skin, followed by his tongue as he placed hot kisses across her throat.

"I'm not resisting," he murmured against her skin, "I'm giving you what you wanted…and more."

"How do I know I can trust you? If I do and you leave me here hanging I'll fucking kill you so bad, I swear to God—"

"Sakura. Do you want me to fuck you or not?" He thrust his hips upward in emphasis.

Sakura whimpered with pleasure. What she was doing now was great, but it would be so much better if he were free to really give it to her hard and fast like she loved best. Just the thought of it sent another burning wave of desire through her.

The second the chakra wires snapped free she was thrown onto her back and Itachi settled over her, his cock still buried to the hilt inside of her. He'd pulled the blindfold free, but she still didn't trust looking into those dangerous, beautiful eyes.

He drove into her hard, making her gasp and moan. "Is this what you wanted, Sakura?" he asked, his voice a low growl as he continued those deep, forceful thrusts.

She clung to him, nails digging into his biceps as she wrapped her thighs over his hips, her head falling back against the mattress in ecstasy. _"Yes!_ Oh, God…Itachi…_harder!"_

He obliged her eagerly, quickening his pace and slamming into her so hard and deep she practically screamed with pleasure at every thrust. She came violently and without warning, her body shaking beneath him but he didn't stop, relentlessly driving her body into the mattress. And then she was coming again, black spots appearing before her vision, gripping the sheets beside her head so tightly her knuckles turned white. A few moments later Itachi's rhythm broke and he groaned against her throat, emptying himself inside her with several quick, short thrusts.

Sakura lay there gasping and panting, a silly grin on her features. But her breath was cut off when Itachi suddenly kissed her. She was too surprised to react at first, but soon she was responding eagerly, her arms wrapping around his neck. It seemed he was just as good at kissing as he was at sex, and she felt the heat building in her again just from the glide of his tongue against hers. The fact that she was _still_ aroused almost made her scream in frustration…until she realized that his cock was still rock hard inside of her.

"Itachi…" she began when he broke away and began kissing down her neck, "didn't you…?"

"Yes," he murmured against her collarbone. His hand stroked up her side and cupped her breast.

"But you're still—" She cut off when he pinched her nipple between his fingers.

"Is that a problem, Sakura? I thought you _wanted_ me to fuck you senseless." Then his mouth closed over her nipple, tongue flicking out and circling the tight peak.

"Actually," she gasped, "I said _I_ was going to fuck _you_ senseless. But this idea is much better."

"Hn." He switched to suckle her other nipple as he began to thrust into her again, his rhythm increasing with every push of his hips until he was driving into her in the same deliciously deep way.

"Oh, God," she moaned, "I sense a sordid love triangle in the making, because I think I love _you,_ too!"

He released her nipple suddenly. "What?"

"Nothing. Don't stop!"

Itachi sat up onto his knees and lifted her leg over his shoulder. He began thrusting into her again, harder, every pump of his cock hitting bottom. Sakura moaned wildly, her cries going up in pitch when he began rubbing his thumb in little circles over her clit.

"_Yes_! Don't stop...so close…I'm gonna—"

"Sakura, look at me."

Sakura was so caught up in the moment that she complied without thinking, locking directly onto those hypnotic, _spinning_ orbs.

The world spiraled out from under her and the next thing she knew, she was staring into an eerie world of red and black. Crap. She'd been caught in the Tsukiyomi. But it wasn't so bad, she figured, because Itachi was still there, still thrusting inside her. In fact, the sensations somehow felt _more_ intense, more overwhelming than before. Oh God, could he really be about to—?

"You want to be cured of your insatiable lust? How about I make you come again and again for the next seventy-two hours," his voice whispered in her ear, though the real Itachi hadn't moved.

But she didn't get the chance to answer, because she was already falling over the edge in the most intense, mind-shattering orgasm yet.

* * *

Seventy-two hours later – though in reality it was only around twenty minutes – Sakura lay gasping and boneless on Itachi's bed. Moisture leaked from the corners of her eyes, the experience she'd just had so intense it was almost painful. She couldn't speak if she tried, still coming down from the throes of ecstasy. She'd moaned and wailed so much her voice was hoarse. She'd come so many times she'd lost track, hitting her so quickly it was impossible to tell where one ended and the next began. Or perhaps it had been only one…one continuous, three-day-long orgasm.

Itachi lay next to her, arms tucked behind his head, a smug smirk on his perfect features. She glanced at him and grinned tiredly. She should have come to him first. If she'd known he could do all _that_ with the Sharingan she wouldn't have wasted her time with all the other bastards.

In fact, even though she was cured of the insatiable itch after coming so many times she couldn't see straight, she had a feeling she would be seeking out Itachi's services on a regular basis from now on. Maybe Deidara too. Both he and Itachi had some unique, amazing abilities in the bedroom. The two of them could make her "enforced residency" here much more bearable. Maybe she could play on their rivalry and get them to compete over her – sexually.

Wow, she really _was_ sick. And this time it wasn't the potion talking. However, just thinking about it was getting her all hot and bothered again. Wait…she shouldn't have the _energy_ to be aroused again…she should be passed out cold after amazing sex like that. Did that mean…no…it _couldn't_ be possible…

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and tugged angrily at her hair. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Her frustrated wail echoed throughout Akatsuki headquarters, and at that exact moment, ten dangerous, S-class criminals ran and hid in terror.

* * *


	11. lolwut

**A/N:** The grand finale! I know you've all been hoping for this. Don't lie. Time for me to wrap this mother up!

Thank you once again to all the authors who helped me finish this fic: Fallacy, Cynchick, and J-Pop Princess.

I hope it was as fun for you to read it as it was for us to write it! Thanks to all of you who stuck with this from the beginning, whether you were forced to or otherwise, and especially thank you to everyone who reviewed every single chapter! You gotta love a regular. And don't forget to take a moment and admire the brilliance of this chapter's name. It expresses the entirety of the fic in a single phrase, I daresay.

Without further ado…

* * *

**Magnetized**

**Chapter 11 - lolwut**

* * *

Sakura opened her eyes and squinted at the clock beside her bed. _Noon?_

"Dammit," she muttered to herself, scrambling out of bed and thrashing out of the confining sheets. "I was supposed to be in the lab making those antibacterial pills five _hours_ ago! I'm so screwed." Her stomach growled loudly. "And _hungry."_

She stripped off her pajamas as fast as she could without tearing them and dashed into the bathroom, turned on the shower blindly and jumped into the freezing cold spray, which rapidly turned boiling hot, and then freezing again, and then decided on that place in the middle that isn't hot nor cold but neither comfortable.

After this extremely insulting shower—God, she smelled weird. Kind of like seven brands of men's cologne all rolled up into one disgusting ball of cheap.—Sakura decided on her usual prisoner of Akatsuki garb (underwear, skirt, loose t-shirt, no bra, and her boots of death), and wandered to the bedroom door, brushing her hair as she went.

_Tap, tap, tap._

"Hey, sorry about sleeping in and stuff. Can you let me out? I kind of need to do something important."

She waited, hoping it wasn't Deidara or Hidan's turn to baby-sit her all damn day. Well, it was only a checkup every hour or so, but still pretty freaking annoying when they got all close to her and breathed on her neck in the most creepy, lewd fashion imaginable. Mostly Deidara. He had a thing about staring at her, for some Godforsaken reason.

But coming to take the seals off her door in the morning was the worst. They would stand outside the door until she was screaming in frustration to be let out—there was no point in sitting in there out of spite, because they had no qualms about letting her sit there for weeks on end—and then pinched her in indecent places on the walk to the lab.

But…no one answered this time. Was this her punishment for sleeping in?

"Shit. Hello? I _said_ I'm _sorry." _

She banged on the door angrily. "Hey, if you don't let me out, you're all going to die of pneumonia in the winter when the freezing rain hits, and—wha?"

The door gave way and slowly creaked open, and a phantom breeze blew down the deserted hallway.

"That's…" Sakura pursed her lips suspiciously. "Did they forget the seals, or just take them off and hope that I went to the lab by myself?" She edged out of the door, glancing back and forth nervously. "Or...is this a test to see if I'll try to escape?" She was completely into the hallway now, flexing her fists by habit despite the lack of chakra there.

"Well, I'm not an idiot," she muttered to herself. "There's ten of them—sixteen, kind of—and one of me. When are they going to calm down about this?" She headed towards the kitchen, but stopped when she tripped over a brightly colored box that she had embarrassingly missed at first glance. On top of it, there was a note, and on the bottom, a chakra seal.

" 'Here they are. They didn't have the brand you wanted, but these should work'...? " She read, highly confused. "From…who? Wait, these are _pregnancy_ tests. The _hell? _Since when do I ask murderous assassins to run errands for pregnancy tests? When will these people get tired of screwing with my head?"

But just because she felt like it, she did three of them, all of which came out positive. Oh, so they were taking the torment to a whole new level, were they? Well, she'd show them. Because she had a pregnancy test of her _own_ in her bag in case of emergencies like this one, and it was considerably more accurate than _those_ grungy things.

Of course, the fact that _that_ one came out positive as well was pretty fucking disturbing. And it was a prototype designed by Tsunade to test based on the fluctuations in a woman's chakra, and seeing as how she had just enough chakra to pass off as a civilian and it _still_ picked up the subtle signs…

"How the hell did _that_ happen? …Oh, well. I can't be bothered."

And she sat there in a cloud of could-be-drug-induced contentedness, ignoring the part of her screaming that something is wrong with you and give yourself a blood test and see if they've done anything to you and weren't you wearing men's pajamas when you woke up why the fuck would you be wearing that and maybe there's a _real_ reason that no one came to the door and—

These annoying thoughts were promptly drowned out by another terrific stomach growl.

"Okay, time to eat," she barked at no one in particular, and stormed out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and down the hallway into the arc of light leading into the kitchen, where she stopped on a dime at the sight that greeted her:

Kisame, sprawled out on a couch, wrapping Samehada in bandage after bandage roll.

Sasori, counting a huge wad of cash next to a pile of DVDs.

Zetsu, having a loud argument with himself about 'new leadership, and what it could mean for us.'

Tobi, reading the newspaper at the table, ignoring everyone around him and tipping up the mask every so often to sip at a martini.

Hidan, staring at her with a disturbingly blank look on his face.

Kakuzu, glancing at her before looking away, then repeating the cycle endlessly.

Deidara, pale as death with enormous dark circles under his eyes, hair a mess, trying to keep himself awake in the armchair he sat in to the side.

Itachi, peering at her intently from another chair, looking healthier than he'd been in years.

And for all of that, there were only three words needed to sum it all up.

"What the _hell?"_

Suddenly, all attention focused on her. Not threatening, but…incredibly intense.

"Um," she continued. "Why didn't anyone come to my door this morning? Actually, why are you all here at the same time? Don't you only meet in that lair thing? I didn't think you guys _did_ kitchen briefing. I'm going to get some orange juice, 'kay?"

As she walked towards the aforementioned, near-sacred drink, a few of them finally spoke.

"Do whatever the fuck you want," Kakuzu growled. "It's _your_ damn fridge now, Miss Fucking Leader."

"You told us to come here, you dumb bitch. We've been waiting for _hours,"_ Hidan snapped.

"I dun wanna do it again…yeah…jus' give me a break today, jus' one day…I'm _dying_ here, woman," Deidara moaned before his head smacked the end of the table and he passed out. Odd…not only was that the most bizarre and insane thing to come out of his mouth in a _long_ while, but it gave her an uncanny sense of déjà vu...

And the rest of them just stared. She stared back.

"Does…someone want to tell me what's going on? Wait, what day is it?"

"Thirtieth," Tobi muttered darkly from behind his newspaper.

_"What?"_ Sakura pulled the newspaper down and gaped at the date. He was _right!_

"But—but—was I sleeping the whole month or something? What the hell is going on? I don't remember _anything_ that went on this past month! The _first_ thing I know, I'm testing chemicals in the lab, and…the _thirtieth!"_

She plopped in the armchair, shaken, while the very biotic chair cushion beneath her lay limp as a dead fish. One by one, the facial expressions around her changed into various forms of disbelief, exuberance, apathy, and relief. Deidara just sat there with his mouths open and three tongues hanging out.

"You don't…remember anything?" Hidan asked with uncharacteristic caution.

"Well, no, obviously. Does anyone know where Pein is? Or Konan, so I can ask her? I want to know what's up here."

"Oh, you won't find them," Zetsu sighed. "Konan informed us they were going on an extremely long mission, but were very close-mouthed about where to or what for. _In their absence, however, you performed something of a small coup shortly after the departure, and no one really offered any real resistance…_I don't think anyone liked them much."

Well, this was just weird. They were all here, and she was getting answers to questions—completely ridiculous answers, but answers all the same—that would've earned her a smack a month ago. She walked to the fridge and drank the orange juice straight out of the container until it was all gone.

"So _why_ is this my fridge again?"

"Oh, no reason," Kakuzu muttered quickly. "It's better if you don't know. Now I can at least _try_ to put this past month out of my mind."

"I can't believe I even put up with all that crap. I'll bet she was on drugs," Kisame observed mournfully.

Sasori left the room on a cell phone, talking to someone about payments and promotions and 'the biggest thing since Kunoichis Let Loose: The Movie.'

Itachi just kept staring, although it was a different stare from before. She stared back, trying to read it. Disappointment? Dejection? Heartache? Huh.

And Deidara coughed and sighed in his sleep, muttering 'not so hard' and 'I can't feel my hands' and 'I dun _wanna_ suck it...yeah' before trying to turn over. This didn't work, obviously, since Sakura was currently using his body as a large pillow.

"So…this is awkward," Sakura observed at the heavy silence following. "I…hope things can go relatively back to normal after today…"

"Yeah, right."

"…and that whatever was going on during that...time is forgotten, and—wait a second. Hey!"

Everyone flinched hard.

"I _know_ it was one of you. There's _no fucking way_ it could be anyone else. _No_ one else comes in here, _no_ one else could _possibly…"_

They waited on bated breath. Was she remembering? Was she…back?

"I am _fucking pregnant._ And until the _asshole_ who did it fesses up, I will make your lives a living hell."

Sakura had never, in her entire life, seen a room cleared out so fast. In their hurry, Deidara was left behind, and when the pink-haired, recently-impregnated kunoichi stood to watch the hasty escape, he fell out of the chair and collapsed on the floor, snoring heavily. Even his hands snored. _That_ was creepy.

But that was all right, she thought as she followed the mass of cloaked men close behind down the hallway. It was time for some up close and _personal_ interrogation, never mind that they outnumbered her. That was unimportant. She'd _seduce_ it out of them if she had to, by golly. But who to go to first?

Sakura slowed in front of the greenhouse door, her eye catching a hint of black and red ducking under the hydrangeas.

Maybe she'd start with Zetsu…

* * *

**A/N:** So...who do you think the daddy is? No, really, tell us. And tell us why. We need a little crack from the outside after all this.

* * *


End file.
